Off the Wall

Saving Facebook: My Confessions: 

On the Movies 

Mike 
I am thrilled TCM's new season of THE ESSENTIALS will celebrate my most admired film comedy, W.C. Fields' riotous THE BANK DICK (1940). And, yes, I would like to have a nose like that full of nickels.

Friend Mark
I see one of my other all-time favorites on that list -- GUNGA DIN. I'll be tuning in to catch that one -- but bringing my own water!

Mike
Arrive early and we'll fix Gunga Dinner. Thank you. Goodnight, everybody!

And for you at the kiddies' table, Gunga Din-din. I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitress. Try the couscous.

On Excitement

Mike
Hello. My name is Mike. And a hotdog makes me lose control.

Friend Don
I adore the Minuet. The Ballet Russe. And Crêpe Suzette.

Mike
We're one-pair of matching bookends, different as night and day.

On 'The Happy Years'

Friend Frank Thompson
‎"The Happy Years," one of Wild Bill Wellman's most enjoyable films.

Mike
I remember watching a 16mm print of this movie at your apartment around 1981. Are there any more of those cookies?

Oh. And I could see it again.

Frank
Yes, a couple of the cookies are left but I think now you'd have to dunk....

On Momentary Insanity

Friend Claire
Went crazy this morning and turned the heat up to 67!

Mike
You Hollywood types.

What's next? Toast?

On Self-Examination

Friend Bill
Once again today, I'm amazed but not surprised.

Mike
Today, I'm congealed, but not syrup.