Gone are the torture frights.
Say "Hello" to the yummy, feel-good summer comedies.
"Broccoli Kitten LOVES Broccoli!" via YouTube
"Who Needs a Treadmill?" via YouTube
I'm thinking about putting an Adventure Island in our creek. We'd have bees and sell taffy. This is a VERY slow little town.
News Item: "Bank teller recognizes customer as man who exposed himself at Starbucks." ... Must've been the stir stick.
I'm considering changing my name. So far, the only one not taken is Photos of Food Durrett. ... I'll ask my wife, Dessert Durrett....
I've noticed my recent, unprecedented usage of the contraction: "shan't." What's next? A top hat and ascot?
Off with the garbage to the county dump, if they'll let me in. We always argue semantics. I say kitty poop IS recycling....
Drat. I just realized because I gave up dairy, my brownie points are worthless.
I'm cutting THE FINAL GLASS OF MILK 2 video together. How exciting! I'm starting to curdle. Catch up: http://is.gd/19lVm
Thinking I'll fire up the lawnmow-- What's on TV?
True Fact: The average person spends three years of life sitting on a toilet. I go for the accent pillows.
I don't know why I love westerns. I spend half the film analyzing how truly awful the people smell. Give Ernie Borgnine a towelette, please.
I've reached an age where I must acknowledge my shortfallings. Where's my moat with the troll?
"WHAT? You've lost your moat-con-troll??"
"Sometimes I'm not sure you have a brain, but outside of that you're a real cool guy."
"Well, there was the time he came running up and said, 'Listen to my first song. ... I-I-I was a teenage infant, baby...'
"And then there was the time he slapped me on the back and said, 'All hands on the rabbit!'
"And then there was the time he gave me a guided tour of Emory Cinema's toilet..."
"This year was mucho (Spanish!!!) fun, cutting each other to shreds."
"Despite your strange tendencies, you're not such a bad fellow. Maybe in a few years you'll be almost normal."
"Durrett, it certainly has been an honor participating in the extra-curricular activities of the back corner of the room. Coach Rakestraw may have changed for the worse due to you, but I don't care. ... I also appreciate your respect for the office of Mayor and your sympathy for the problems of the office, especially concerning those rotten, gosh-awful CLOCK People.
"I thank you,
"You are a pretty good guy, but you wouldn't know it talking to you.
"...And I hope you will not miss me rubbing my stomach next year."
"P.S. I just thought you might like a P.S."
"To the man ... who has displayed the talents of acting like a fly-eating moron [and] who created the first "Cockroach Villa," the all-new, awe-inspiring sensation..."
"Question: Do roaches possess the same Constitutional rights as you and me? Is stepping on maggots an immoral act? Is the A-bombing of an anthill 'overkill'? ... Maybe you'll just become some skid row beggar, getting pennies and wooden nickels for your starving wife and children by telling elephant jokes."
"Mike, knowing you has been quite an experience. I have learned much from you, like I'm Jewish. I wasn't sure until you told me. You sure are a lucky guesser.
"Well, Mike, as I walk through the cobwebs of life and through the doors of my synagogue, and until my dying day, your brilliant words of wisdom, justice, mercy and love of octopusses will ring through my ears: 'Are you Jewish?'"
"Dear Mike, it's been great getting to know you, even though at times I wish I could put lit matches in your ___."
"Mike, you are the weirdest guy in this whole place. You have a way with humans. Good luck."
Mmmmmmffffmmff... Been thinking all night. I know this little girl who auditioned to become Little Miss Sunbeam Bread and I married her. I don't get to sit next to her much, but she butters my toast.
"Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" snubbed. I told them not to cut the pup tent scene.
Saw the photos. One of the houses had some similarities to ours, but their kitties weren't smoking catnip meeces on the curb.
I've been taking a bit of a Twitter vacation. My Inner Dialogue told me to get the hell out, so I'm back. How you doin'?
I'm off to a high school reunion. I didn't go to the school. I don't know those people. I CRAVE to talk Algebra. Since it's never come up.
Actually, I am going to my high school reunion today. Eight hours of people asking me if they can have my fish sticks.
2:59 a.m. I'm finally home, having survived my high school reunion. I had to stay after for Study Hall and to clap the chalk erasers.
I would've asked classmates to sign my yearbook at the school reunion, but we grew up in the '60s & aren't allowed to trust anyone over 30.
Due to unprecedented demand, my 1st video debuts tom'w. Tho, "unprecedented demand" could mean a cat w/hiccups. And it do.
Today, June 4, is Hug Your Cat Day. Consider that done. Morty loves a big Daddy hug. ... Anyone seen my wallet?...
Cost-cutting everywhere... The strings on this banana are twine.
"Gals, Gags, and Goofs"
This picture has everything!
I once goofed with a gal and made her gag.
Thanks for sharing.
No problem. That's what I'm here for. To give. And to goof and gag. And possibly to gal.
>>"Gals , Gags , and Goofs"
This picture has everything !<<
I concur, but they should not have been shy and said, "and Goons," too.
And, "and Movie Star Drug Addict Needing Fix Cash," but that's kinda hard to say in words starting with "G."
"Geezer Groping for Ganja."
I stand corrected.
From: Mike Durrett
To: Donna Durrett
Subject: I have found your birthday present.
[A Robert Osborne Bobblehead Doll, from Turner Classic Movies]
OH, man! What I've always wanted!
Actually, I think I'll buy you the George Clooney bobblehead. It's much more realistic, but needs more bobbly.
Ah, would ja please ???
Don't you dare!
Aw, c'mon. There's a set with Kate Hepburn, Charlie Callas, and Barney Fife.
Oh, help me!
"Morty: You'll Never Skulk Alone"
"human flesh whittlers"
"Here's to your elf."
Farce of the Penguins
"Yeah, I'm proud to be a coal miner's daughter. A bit befuddled, but proud."