On the night before Christmas, all snuggled in bed, I had visions of Pop Kwimper dancing in my head.
Yeah. Pop Kwimper. Elvis' pappy in "Follow That Dream."
I was scared. Very scared.
I only have to mull over the prospects of Elvis wine and I get loopy.
Mmmmm. Jailhouse Rock Merlot and Stuck On You Shiraz.
I call these wales, 'cause Elvis didn't whine.
But it doesn't matter since Claus didn't give me any Presley bubbly after all, not even by the glass!
No Blue Suede Ooze.
No Bacon Soppings Cabernet Sauvignon.
No Mess-ah-'Nanas Zinfandel.
Dad-gum it, Pop, there goes New Year's Eve.
And here I am a-hankerin' for a midnight feast of nutty Extra Crunchy Skippy Super Chunk by the gravy ladle, topped off with a nice All Shook Up Pinot Grigio, the Tickle Me Chablis, and an agreeably stimulating Ain't Nothin' But a Hound Dog Pisco.
More: Gifts Senior Moment Santa Forgot to Bring Me
Related Mike and Mr. Presley Treasures: "My Night With Elvis" | "My Night With Elvis Redux" | "Star Sighting" | "Viva Jasper, Georgia" | "Love Me Chocolate or That's All Right (Nana)"