And Now, for All You Youngsters, Right Here on Our Stage...
When I was 12, I performed two shows as Ed Sullivan on these boards, bringing entertainment to every student and teacher fighting in the trenches.
I wore a coat and tie and I was about as funny as Ed and I got about as many chicks as Ed. It was a really big "shoot."
Those appearances were more than a year after my triumph as the mixed-up elf in the rousing "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" extravaganza during the sixth grade Christmas pageant, mentioned previously ("100 Things About Me #89").
Bob Hope was in the Far East with his USO troupe, so I was the closest thing our school had to Miss USA, 1963, Michele Metrinko.
And I mean that because, grotesquely defaced under rosy cheeks cosmetics, I was forced to wear stretch tights for the song and sway, all against my will and child cruelty statutes.
Plus, my feet were doomed into pointy slippers. I had to be careful. I could've poked someone's thigh out.
How embarrassing, pointy shoes with jingly toes, prancing hither. I couldn't remember the choreography. I hopped and skipped with a limp and a thrash. I sounded like Tinkerbell shuttlecocked by Liberace.
I believe it was at that moment history coined the word "precious."
I did not own any tights, so a classmate offered me a pair. I liked the girl, but I had to be sweet-talked into her pants--
Hmm.
Maybe I should revive the act....
The "Back to School" thread continues with "Boys Will Be Boys: 100 Things About Me #137."
