'Sabotage!'

I am a movie projectionist.

During "Caddyshack," mysterious technical issues arose. People called me "crazy," but my suspicions were correct....


"Sabotage!" via YouTube

'Meet the Neighborhood -or- Getting to Snow You - Stuff I'm Too Lazy to Go Type Up #4'

Residing in the sunny south, specifically Georgia, means one thing for certain. Folks go ape over snow accumulations of any insignificance and one-half inch or more is stunning.

Well, we go ape after going bats, first raiding the store shelves of milk and toilet paper, as if Armageddon were trick-or-treating on our doorsteps.

So, from home and into the woods, with rare delight and a couple of rolls of Charmin (Ooo, quilted!), let's slide with the camera down the sleet, through the courtesy of Mike's two feet.


''Stuff I'm Too Lazy to Go Type Up #4: Meet the Neighborhood -or- Getting to Snow You'' via YouTube
Snow be purty.

Video Webisode: 'Stuff I'm Too Lazy to Go Type Up #3: In Color'

Mike Durrett, celebrated filmmaker ("We're not like him! We're not like him!..."), goes for an impromptu walk in the fall rain. When nature calls, one must video cam.



"Stuff I'm Too Lazy to Go Type Up #3: In Color" via YouTube  
More: Mike's CONFIDENTIAL Video Webisodes

Mike's Video: 'Scenes From a Drive-in Movie'

My earliest memories include watching John Ford's "The Wings of Eagles" (1957) with John Wayne at a drive-in theatre in Washington, DC.

Yeah, that's right. Duke was in the car with me, pilgrim, drinking this toddler under the Buick.

I've been fascinated and drawn to the outdoor cinematic havens ever since, as a viewer, champion, and employee. During my projectionist career, I managed to show films in eight Atlanta area ozoners. That's a lot of late nights and bugs flying into the light.

Here's a visit to one of my favorite places. (I've saved the corn dogs for the sequel.)


"Scenes From a Drive-in Movie" via YouTube

Video: 'Stuff I'm Too Lazy to Go Type Up #2: Small Town Fireworks'

This video fell out of the sky and I'm glad it did.

Perhaps the social highlight of the year in a small town is the Independence Day fireworks display, if not the display of Pall Malls over at the Walmart.

Last night, we had 11 minutes of colorful explosions in our faces and I managed to catch them with the camera, rather than 11 minutes of my nose. I have a lousy sense of direction.

Instead of me writing about it, here's the 9½ minute finale. All that would fit.

See plenty o' fireworks a-poppin' on the Fourth of July, as we celebrate America, watching the up with a cool breeze, no gnats, and lotsa yummy oatmeal cookies.

"Stuff I'm Too Lazy to Go Type Up #2: Small Town Fireworks" via YouTube

Mike's Video: 'The Final Glass of Milk 2: The Inaugural Glass of Soymilk'

Eight days after swearing off cows' milk forever, I faced milk substitutes. In the grand tradition of "The Final Glass of Milk," I stomached my fear of the unknown and, for the first time ever, I drank the mysterious squeezin's of soy. A camera was on tripod -- can you believe the luck? -- to capture the historic event and epic epiglottal ecstasy. I'm milking it.

This long-awaited sequel (two entire weeks!) ends the tasteful dairy juice / strange man-made replacement beverages movie franchise, unless someone learns to knit milk.


"The Final Glass of Milk 2: The Inaugural Glass of Soymilk" via YouTube
The True Story That Started It All: "The Final Glass of Milk"

Special Features: The Original Theatrical Trailer

"Behind the Scenes: The Making of 'The Final Glass of Milk,' Chapter One" and "Chapter Two"

'Stuff I'm Too Lazy to Go Type Up #1'

"Stuff I'm Too Lazy to Go Type Up #1" via YouTube

"Behind the Scenes: The Making of 'The Final Glass of Milk,' Chapter Two"

"Behind the Scenes: The Making of 'The Final Glass of Milk,' Chapter Two" via YouTube
Continued From: "Behind the Scenes: The Making of 'The Final Glass of Milk,' Chapter One"
Related: "The Final Glass of Milk"
Extra: The Original Theatrical Trailer

"Behind the Scenes: The Making of 'The Final Glass of Milk,' Chapter One"

"Behind the Scenes: The Making of 'The Final Glass of Milk,' Chapter One" via YouTube
The pulsating conclusion, "Chapter Two," features bloopers and outtakes.

Continued: "Behind the Scenes: The Making of 'The Final Glass of Milk,' Chapter Two"
Related: "The Final Glass of Milk"
Extra: The Original Theatrical Trailer

Meanwhile...

Morty's got a new cat toy: my movie camera.

Today, he's releasing his first Web video, "Morty's Excellent Day."

Personally, I think it's a tad self-indulgent.


"Morty's Excellent Day" via YouTube

My First Video Webisode: 'The Final Glass of Milk'

For nutrition, I'm giving up milk forever. I'm in the period of adjustment, yet the frothy farewell has arrived and gulped. My camera was there for "The Final Glass of Milk."

Roger Ebert says, "A funny movie, flat out, all the way through. Its setup is funny. Every situation is funny. Most of the dialogue is funny almost line by line. At some point we actually find ourselves caring a little about what happened...," mentioning some other picture.


"The Final Glass of Milk" via YouTube
Special Features: The Original Theatrical Trailer | "Behind the Scenes: The Making of 'The Final Glass of Milk,' Chapter One" | "Chapter Two"

The Epic Sequel: "The Final Glass of Milk 2: The Inaugural Glass of Soymilk"

Psssst... Hush Hush Sneak Peek Video

Shhh... It's a big secret. That's why I'm posting this on the Internet to tell you.

I'm making my first video especially for nothing. I mean, for computer viewing, coming soon, maybe sooner.

I've found my return to the front of the camera to be a touch bittersweet, following the gala Twinkies Film Festival I was a part of awhile back in, yes, that HOLLYWOOD!

You all know Twinkies. Thanks for remembering.

So, although dealing with the hot lights, lazy crew, and temperamental, prima donna cast is the sacrifice I must make for my art -- and, of course, you, and, yes, that HOLLYWOOD! -- I've truly missed the buffets.

I, however, have managed to obtain a copy of the production's coming attractions prevue, yet to hit theatres and Fake IMAXes nationwide. I share it with you here -- and, no, it is not my first video for the Web, regardless of the fact the first video isn't finished.

I need dabbing.


"The Final Glass of Milk: Original Theatrical Trailer" via YouTube
Now Playing: "My First Video Webisode: The Final Glass of Milk"