Some Like It Spot

The new GEICO commercial is nearly a home movie for us, having traveled five times to this exact setting in Arizona-Utah's Monument Valley, our favorite American destination.

"GEICO: The Roadrunner and the Coyote: The Gecko's Journey" via YouTube  We didn't meet these big time celebrities along the way, sadly, but the video may explain my desert headaches.

Meep.

Movies in the Movies: 'Lucky Me'

Doris Day: "The Superstition Song" from "Lucky Me" via YouTube

Star Doris Day opens the 1954 musical "Lucky Me" by singing a cheery song across the Floridian streets of lovely Miami -- except the entire enterprise was faked on the Burbank, CA lot at Warner Bros.

I've been fortunate to visit the studio twice and stroll the much photographed outdoor set, although I didn't warble show tunes or get gunned down by James Cagney.

Maybe next time.

As Doris passes along the movie theatre's sidewalk, we see posters for "The Command," an actual Warner production released in Feb. 1954. "Lucky Me" hit screens in April, so this ploy was a smart up-to-the-minute product placement to entice sharp eyes.

I do so wish Miss Day had lingered. I'd be under that theatre marquee beside her in a scant 43 years.

We'd have lunch at the commissary, croon the obligatory duet, bungalow in Carmel, and rescue puppies.

"The Command" advertisement boasts its presentation in the months-old technological process of CinemaScope, yet the picture was produced twice for non-compatible cameras. Here's an interesting bit of trivia, found at Internet Movie Database:

Filmed in two separate versions - 3-D and CinemaScope - with different aspect ratios (1.37:1 for the 3-D, and 2.55:1 for the CinemaScope print). Only the wide screen version was ever released, though the 3-D elements still exist in Warner Bros. vault. Also the first wide screen Western of the 1950's. The flat (i.e. non 3-D) 1.37:1 version was also made available to theatres who were not yet equipped to project CinemaScope.

"Lucky Me," by the way, is reported to be the first musical in CinemaScope, although there is conflicting research.

It appears the Judy Garland version of "A Star Is Born" was the first musical to go before the CinemaScope camera. It's 10-month schedule to completion, however, delayed release until October.

"Lucky Me" lucked out.

Big Weekend

Big weekend, visiting the old courthouse in Monroeville, AL. 

We came to see "To Kill a Mockingbird," staged on the lawn, two small blocks from where the novel's author, Harper Lee, grew up.

The second act was performed inside the courtroom which inspired the story.

Afterward, a dream was fulfilled....

I met and posed with the ham suit.

---

Photos by Donna Durrett

Secrets to a Successful 30-Year Marriage #8

Donna and I like to travel together -- some even whisper "as a couple," taking epic automobile trips around the United States.

To celebrate our anniversary, we're discussing -- my people with her people -- an excursion which could roll us to Canada and the traditional lovebirds' retreat, Niagara Falls.

I'm told my parents honeymooned at Niagara Falls, nearly 70 years ago. I wouldn't know. I wasn't invited.

I wasn't around either, but, obviously, they were thinking only of themselves.

Kids.

*sigh*

Anyway, we'd like to visit, too, especially after seeing this exciting travelogue....


"Niagara Fools" (1956) via YouTube

Wile E. Coyote vs. Road Runner Redux: 'Wiley vs. Rhodes'

Image via Wikipedia

I'm a devotee of Chuck Jones' Road Runner cartoons of 1949-65, so this live-action fan homage / update is of special interest. Nice work.

As a young boy, I was also fascinated by the cartoons' sumptuous art direction, depicting the stories somewhere in the strangest American deserts. Through adult travels around the southwest, I've observed the terrain and concluded Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote reside somewhere in the Utah-Arizona zip codes. The new video was set in Moab, specifically, to my eye, at Arches National Park.

What a wow -- and the perfect location!

See why my wife and I have long considered relocating to Moab, since our first visit in 1995 and as recently as this past spring. At any moment, I may pick up the phone and have ACME ship us on out.




"Wiley Vs. Rhodes" from ApachePictures on Vimeo
via Cartoon Brew

Top One Sign You're in a Small Town

I Got Nuthin'

Consolation Video: "inter // states" Japan time-lapse from Samuel Cockedey on Vimeo 

_{via Boing Boing}

From Here to 'Eternity'

From here to Atlanta, we looped 170 miles to see this classic 1953 film at the Plaza, returning, from there to the shanty. 

We considered renaming our humble estate "Eternity," nevertheless Donna and I settled by secret ballot vote, continuing with the ever-popular "Cold Sore Mountain."

I prefer to call it "Portland," but we've been dieting.

Big Weekend

Big weekend, salivating over Pop-Tarts World. 

Pop-Tarts World has opened in New York City. I'd surely enjoy the thrill rides, but I don't care to "FASTEN YOUR FRUIT FILLINGS."

How dare they say that to me?

Furthermore, "YOU HAVE TO BE THIS NOT PARTICULARLY NOURISHING TO RIDE."

---

Photo courtesy of Diaper, Creative Commons license.

Chattanooga Ooh! Ooh!

THE ROAD, Tenn., Day 1 -- Fans of the classic Broadway show tune, "I've Gotta Be Me," immortalized by Steve Lawrence, Sammy Davis, Jr., and countless popular performers, will note the special lyrics warbled by me as our vacation mobile withdrew from the bubbly state of Georgia into bladder-bursting Chattanooga.

"I'll go it alone, that's how it must be

I can't be right for somebody else

If I'm not right for me

I gotta go pee, I just gotta go pee

Daring to try, to do it or die

I gotta go pee!!"

I've been bellowing that little ditty for decades, pretty much on the hour.

"Do you have to go?" asked Donna.

"What gave you that idea?" I countered.

"Your theme song was a hint, and your hands are bending the steering wheel at 10 and 2."

"Yeah, I should alter the act."

"The demonic beads of sweat on your brow spelling out 'DRAIN ME!' is new."

"Thanks for noticing. Yes, I have to pit stop!"

"Then, turn off at this exit."

"You mean, thataway?" I was incredulous.

"Yes."

"But, I thought the Grand Canyon was our first thataway."

"We won't be there for two days!"

"I guess I could hold it -- or, certainly, this car."

"Are you crazy?"

"It's a rental."

"Take the exit!" Donna ordered. I heard it.

"So, now you're telling me we're eight thataways to home."

"What?"

"Our itinerary, as you argued for the defense off blog via highlighted atlases, View-Master® slides, and notarized receipts in quadruplicate, is to visit seven thataways."

"Off blog?"

"Seven delightfully scenic destinations."

"The Shell station is not scenic."

"It is if you gotta pee! Beauty."

"Mike, go potty. Make your happy noises and don't send me a postcard."

"I'm watching you, missy, and tabulating, "Eight Thataways to Home."

To Be Continued

---

With apologies to Walter Marks and, of course, Slim.

Gentleman, Start Your Engine

RENTAL CAR, Home, Day 1 -- I turned the dashboard key, engaging the motor and our vacation.

Mike: Check list.

Donna: Check.

Mike: Cat.

Donna: Check.

Mike: Kitty Kondo?

Donna: Checked in.

Mike: Calm? Comfy? Chunky chews?

Donna: Check. Check. Choice.

Mike: House locked?

Donna: Check.

Mike: Lights out?

Donna: Check.

Mike: Luggage.

Donna: Check.

Mike: Maps.

Donna: Check.

Mike: Snacks.

Donna: Check.

Mike: Salt.

Donna: Sea?

Mike: Si.

Donna: Check.

Mike: Cash.

Donna: Check.

Mike: We need to go to the bank??

Donna: Why?

Mike: Check.

Donna: Check?

Mike: Check.

Donna: Cash. Check.

Mike: I can cash a check.

Donna: Check.

Mike: Which bank?

Donna: On First.

Mike: Woohoo! On First?

Donna: Check.

Mike: The other bank is on Third and I don't give a darn!

Donna: What?

Mike: I said, "I don't give a darn!"

Donna: Oh, that's our loan shark.

Mike: Well, okay, then, the two weeks are now up. I enjoyed it. Let's go back into the house--

Donna: Michael, drive the car.

Mike: Where?

Donna: Thataway.

Mike: Far away thataway?

Donna: Check.

Mike: Well, that will be just grand.

Donna: Check.

Mike: What are you talking about?

Donna: Grand Canyon. Thataway.

Mike: Oh, yeah, we were mentioning visiting one of those, weren't we? Are there Grand Canyons everywhere? Is it part of a chain, like Sink Holes R Us? Are there Tall, Venti, Grande Canyons?--

Donna: Go! I've planned everything.

Mike: Check.

Donna: You love me?

Mike: Check.

Donna: Why?

Mike: Chick.

Donna: Chump.

Mike: Check.

Donna: Kiss.

Mike: Cheek.

Donna: Mmm-whah!

Mike: Chemise?

Donna: Are you chewing gum?

Mike: Chicklet.

Donna: Chimp.

Mike: Check.

Donna: Check, mate.

To Be Continued

---

With apologies to Bud Abbott, Lou Costello and, of course, Slim.

A Ride in the Country

Preview: Big Weekend
Foreword: Pillow Talk

DODGE CHARGER, Outside the House, Day 1 -- Years of travel discussions, preparations, and reservations brought us to this singular Saturday morning. Departure was imminent. Over the next fortnight and a fourth, we would navigate 5000 sleep-deprived miles across America's pavements, puddles, and potholes to reach our final destination:

This very parking space!

"Am I missing something?" I asked, swiveling helter-skelter to peep through the vehicle windows for wisdom. "We're off on a massive car trip to ... here?"

"You," said my wife, buckling her seatbelts, "are too dramatic."

I don't know of what she speaks, but this is my story....

To Be Continued

Pillow Talk

Previously, I shared a little teaser from our epic vacation. Now, I'm ready to confess the entire tale. Here's how it all began:

Donna: Are you awake?

Mike: Si.

Donna: Would you like to go on a trip?

Mike: Si.

Donna: You would?

Mike: Si.

Donna: When?

Mike: Soon.

Donna: Soon?

Mike: Si.

Donna: Where would you like to go?

Mike: Silt.

Donna: Silt?

Mike: Si.

Donna: Silt, Colorado?

Mike: Si.

Donna: What's to do?

Mike: See.

Donna: See?

Mike: Si.

Donna: See what?

Mike: Slim.

Donna: Slim?

Mike: Si.

Donna: Silt Slim?

Mike: Si.

Donna: You don't know any Slim.

Mike: Sad.

Donna: That would be--

Mike: Silly?

Donna: Si.

Donna: NOW CUT THAT OUT!

Mike: Si.

Donna: What do you imagine this Slim does?

Mike: Silage.

Donna: Silage?

Mike: Si.

Donna: I'm afraid to ask this next one. You're talking silage, the fermented, high-moisture fodder that can be fed to cud-chewing animals like--

Mike: Sheep.

Donna: Sheep?

Mike: Si.

Donna: Steer?

Mike: Sure.

Donna: So--

Mike: Si.

Donna: Silage?

Mike: Si.

Donna: Silt?

Mike: Si.

Donna: Where in Silt?

Mike: Silo.

Donna: A silo!

Mike: Si. See.

Donna: Chances?

Mike: Slim.

Donna: Sleep.

Mike: Sleep?

Donna: Zs...

With apologies to Jack Benny, Wikipedia, and, of course, Slim.

Big Weekend

Big weekend, sitting in Silt.

Silt, Colorado.

I, and my ever-present imaginary toothpick, hang with our snappily ironic ride.

Big Weekend

We drove to a romantic, secluded parking lot and perused the vintage jottings of classmates in my sacred high school yearbook.

Craig W. writes:

"Mike, you are the weirdest guy in this whole place. You have a way with humans. Good luck."

Gifts Senior Moment Santa Forgot to Bring Me: Visitor Center

I was expecting Mr. Claus to show up with my Visitor Center. He brought me the sign last year, so I was hoping.

Oh, not a building. Santa couldn't fly that in. That would be silly.

Just the building plans, the lumber, nails, seven brads for seven druthers, plus the cash for the contractor, earth mover, and a selection of canary blue plastic hard hats we could sport, arms akimbo.

I've always wanted a Visitor Center out back of the house. Somewhere to sell nine dollar Pepsis, mock scrapple, crummy t-shirts with my name on 'em. Maybe trade yarns about the weather and, boy, howdy, the price of smelt.

I need a place to hand over coveted brochures and point worn-down travelers to the Cracker Barrel and the "I got a call into the man" porta-potties, left of the bees.

Acres of free parking. Treasure Hunt every Saturday. Regional fruit in season. Grab a goodie from our communal scuppernong bucket. It's cool inside!

Mike on the Go

With a Sarong in My Heart and Other Hollywood Moments

Not too long ago, the television was on in the background, tuned to Turner Classic Movies, a regular haunt. I looked over at that there "THEM!"

"Golly, Pops! Where's my camera?"

(There was no Pops. I can be dramatic. I've got the Mamet in me. I am the "me" in "Mamet.")

I couldn't believe my eyes. This 1954 black-and-white extravaganza about garganttuan mutant ants was being televised with a color title card! I've enjoyed the "THEM!" several times, as recently as a few years ago at a drive-in theatre, and I've never seen the film with a color title!

I sprayed the TV with RAID and that fixed "'EM!"

Seeing David O. Selznick's "Since You Went Away" (1944) reminded me of my first trip to the Hollywood area, back in '95.

Pal Burbank's Frank stopped his car at a traffic light. As an afterthought, he directed me to look out the window to our left. Sitting on the corner was the old Selznick office mansion. My view was at the same angle as observed in the famous Selznick International Studios movie logo.

That was surreal, even more so when you consider this one-time home to RKO and DesiLu, now known as The Culver Studios, is where "Gone With the Wind," "Citizen Kane," "King Kong," "E.T.," and "The Andy Griffith Show" were filmed. As Gomer Pyle said right there, every time, "Shazam!"

A 1938 publicity photo of Dorothy Lamour on the Paramount studio lot. Bob Hope looks really bad here.


_{Snapshot via Jerry Beck}

Greetings From St. Patrick's Crib

^{Can't see the video? Try here.}

Doo Not Drop In

The Isle of Palms, proud home of edible Seagull Poop, is a lovely place to laze, but we brown bag it -- and wear oversized beach umbrella hats.

In deference to the apparent abundance of Shrimp Poop, we don't stroll in the surf either, unless our hip waders are waterproofed, shellacked, and Bactined, and have never been dunked in cocktail sauce.

Seagull Poop and Shrimp Poop are two reasons I am glad I am a vegetarian. I would not be a big fan of the seapoop, excepting, of course, those Johnny Depp pirate movies.

To date, I have found nothing to hint there are delectibles such as Chickpea Poop, Raisin Poop, Tofu Poop, Arugula Poop, or Pistachio Poop, which I consider to be a big plus on my dietary buffet.

I did, as a safety precaution, give up kidney beans, because indeed I am suspect of whatever they're juicing.