Gentleman, Start Your Engine

RENTAL CAR, Home, Day 1 -- I turned the dashboard key, engaging the motor and our vacation.

Mike: Check list.

Donna: Check.

Mike: Cat.

Donna: Check.

Mike: Kitty Kondo?

Donna: Checked in.

Mike: Calm? Comfy? Chunky chews?

Donna: Check. Check. Choice.

Mike: House locked?

Donna: Check.

Mike: Lights out?

Donna: Check.

Mike: Luggage.

Donna: Check.

Mike: Maps.

Donna: Check.

Mike: Snacks.

Donna: Check.

Mike: Salt.

Donna: Sea?

Mike: Si.

Donna: Check.

Mike: Cash.

Donna: Check.

Mike: We need to go to the bank??

Donna: Why?

Mike: Check.

Donna: Check?

Mike: Check.

Donna: Cash. Check.

Mike: I can cash a check.

Donna: Check.

Mike: Which bank?

Donna: On First.

Mike: Woohoo! On First?

Donna: Check.

Mike: The other bank is on Third and I don't give a darn!

Donna: What?

Mike: I said, "I don't give a darn!"

Donna: Oh, that's our loan shark.

Mike: Well, okay, then, the two weeks are now up. I enjoyed it. Let's go back into the house--

Donna: Michael, drive the car.

Mike: Where?

Donna: Thataway.

Mike: Far away thataway?

Donna: Check.

Mike: Well, that will be just grand.

Donna: Check.

Mike: What are you talking about?

Donna: Grand Canyon. Thataway.

Mike: Oh, yeah, we were mentioning visiting one of those, weren't we? Are there Grand Canyons everywhere? Is it part of a chain, like Sink Holes R Us? Are there Tall, Venti, Grande Canyons?--

Donna: Go! I've planned everything.

Mike: Check.

Donna: You love me?

Mike: Check.

Donna: Why?

Mike: Chick.

Donna: Chump.

Mike: Check.

Donna: Kiss.

Mike: Cheek.

Donna: Mmm-whah!

Mike: Chemise?

Donna: Are you chewing gum?

Mike: Chicklet.

Donna: Chimp.

Mike: Check.

Donna: Check, mate.

To Be Continued

With apologies to Bud Abbott, Lou Costello and, of course, Slim.

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