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My Recent Confessions and Observations on Twitter, Where Everything Must Be Said in 140 Characters or Less

I'm so thrilled when folks phone me from their office & immediately put me on hold. I cannot get enough horribly distorted Bossa Nova music.

Poll: 11% of America has confidence in Congress. We are a tolerant people.

I got my invite to the high school reunion. I'm supposed to bring school spirit. Big yippy and that smell in the gym.

Watching: THE MIDDLE. I just realized, like the kid, I am "the forgotten third child." That explains a lot. ... Um, can I leave my room now?

Sitting here, remembering my first kiss, wondering if the statute of limitations has run out for Shemperella....

I don't get to hear them often, but I am about to hear those three little words I yearn: "More chips, please." Huevos rancheros, I love you.

We had lunch with the lady who cuts my hair. I'd never seen anyone shampoo a chalupa.

Got home from high school reunion at 5:30 a.m. They hid my clothes & dangled me from a shower head by my slide rule holster.

Eating Cheerios. Going to be a good day. Let's just say yesterday began with a big bowl of LoatheYouToYourRottenCoreios.

Press Release: "Contestants from AMERICA'S GOT TALENT" are coming to my town. ... Mikey's got $61.50 and keeping it.

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