Off the Wall: The Lou Costello Dilemma

Saving Facebook:

Friend Ray Taylor asks:

Would Lou Costello be better off not saying "Niagara Falls" or not wanting to get directions to the "Susquehanna Hat Company"?

My response:

Thank you for your question. You see, sir, I wasn't always a dirty, filthy, scurvy bum like you.

I have invested as much as six minutes to ponder and curse your inquiry. It is in no minor state of regret from which I acknowledge Mr. Costello finds himself in a dire predicament or a "pickle," as the young-uns so voice and devastate our unofficial language.

Fortunately, the gentleman's proclivities to attract riotous conflict, immense hostility, and h-h-harming have been significantly diminished in the recent decades, several in sequence, with a steep decline in popularity of the hatted.

On the other appendage, it is deemed unfortunate a certain head gear manufacturer has relocated said business to the controversial shores of the nefarious Niagara love nest.

To decide your inquiry directly, I cannot, but as a recent devotee of the cervical collar, I would prescribe Mr. Costello to acquire one, maybe five.

He must employ the silent treatment at any and all times the side-stepping of hammy character actors may not be possible.

Furthermore, I advise him to consult on the matter with his kindly partner, Mr. Abbott.

Mike
At the Help Desk

P.S. Eat lemons.