Mike Durrett: CONFIDENTIAL

Incomings

Actual Letters to Mike Durrett
A radio legend and mukluk putterer, Bob Walker of My 93-1, Hutchinson, Kansas, writes:

Hey Mike,

We had a baby born in the parking lot at the Kansas State Fair. I asked callers for Fair Baby Names. I got Freakshow Fannie, Funnel Cake Jake, Himalaya Micayla, Cotton Candy Sandy.

Do you possibly actually have additional names?????

Soitenly:

Little Bo Geek
Deep Fried Yahoo
Three Car Monty
Drooling Banjo
Tater Tot
Baby Bearded Fat Lady
Free Balloons for the Kid
Live Skunk in the Middle of the Road
Gravel Gertie
Don't Tread on Meatloaf
Tilt-a-Merle
Parking Lotta
Fairy (At Least I'm Not Wal-Mark)

A radio legend and mukluk putterer, Bob Walker of My 93-1, Hutchinson, Kansas, writes:

(Nah! It couldn't possibly be the same one.)

Bob shares New Fall TV Shows That Probably Aren't Going to Make It, including "America's Got a Cold" and "How I Met Your Plumber."

He adds:

I bet you have more spewing from your gizzards.

Oh, a few:

"Survivor: Tainted Food Court Meat Samples on a Toothpick"
"Leave It to Bieber"
"Pimp My Aunt Bea"
"Wincing With the Slurs"
"Family Gut"

And, finally, a radio legend and mukluk putterer, Bob Walker of My 93-1, Hutchinson, Kansas, writes:

(Huh? Who? Huh? What?)

Anyway, he wants to know if I have Telltale Signs the Mosquitoes Are Bad.

Indeed:

They have a tattoo of you with a clot.

They get their stingers pierced.

Just before hitting your blister, you hear teensy voices holler, 'HOT TUB!!" ... And, "Come on in, the sucking's fine!"

They refer to you as Skeeter Cola.

Li'l surfboards wash up in your nose bleed.

2 comments:

ML said...

Just reading along, amused, thenI got to:
"Tilt-a-Merle"

You made me laugh so hard I spit on my computer screen.

Mike Durrett said...

Alright!! Ten points!

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