Mikellaneous

My Recent Confessions and Observations on Twitter, Where Everything Must Be Said in 140 Characters or Less

I got my first medical alert bracelet. Some of them caution "Diabetes" or "Coumadin." Mine says "Raisinets."

Just in: "Pope meets with Muslim scholars, urges better ties." Might I suggest some nice pocket squares & Gillette® The Best a Man Can Get™?

I guess you've heard, Paris Hilton was not elected President of the United States. She was going to lower necklines & raise hell. No Change.

The robocalls have stopped! No more: "Hello, this is Franklin D. Roosevelt, calling from beyond the grave for my good friend, Barack Obama."

Citgo gas fell half to $1.99 per gallon. It's like a 2-for-1 sale. Buy one gallon, get 2nd gallon free! C'mon, throw in a Hugo Chávez plush.

Sen. John McCain is coming, but I'll pass. The entire event is only an hour, so he won't be able to say much or sing his Streisand medley.

News item: "Man assaults girlfriend for opening his Vienna Sausages." Ahh, The Curse of the Little Wieners.