A Randy Stewart of a metropolitan Atlanta, Georgia writes to warn the new Daniel Craig motion picture, "Quantum of Solace," begins exactly where "Casino Royale" leaves off. He insists a viewing is in order before heading out to the theatre for part two.
I comply and respond:
We've rewatched "Casino Royale." We're up to speed on Jimmy Bond and Mata Hari Bond.
A Randy Stewart of a metropolitan Atlanta, Georgia, possibly the same combo, writes:
In honor of "Quantum of Solace," I think you should star in the next 007 movie.
Taking a hint from your previous theatrical billing, it could be called, "The Man with the Golden Weenie."
I had been a contributor of special material to the performers' publication, "The Electric Weenie."
My response:
Thank you for your interest. "The Man With the Golden Twinkie" might be the more appropriate title, or, perhaps, [in an allusion to creamy snack cake filling] the less product-placed, "Siphoned, Not Spurt."
I had appeared in Mr. Stewart's award-winning film, "101 Facts From the Book of Twinkie Knowledge."
Continuing my measured discourse:
I may have to pass on "Dr. Node," "Blunderball," "From Russia With AAA Rayovacs," and "Pullfinger."
A Bob Walker of a Kansas writes:
How are you? I've got a big weekend planned. I'm gonna load up my Water Pik and drown roaches.
No, actually, I'm gonna watch repeats of "My Name Is Earl" for fashion tips.
NO, really, folks, I'm going down to the Quick Shop and point at the dogs that are done.
A me of a wherever replies:
My weekend?
I'll be shaving. Fess Parker mistook me for his hat.
Since my throat is sore and my epiglottis is wrinkly, I'll be dunking cough drops in Preparation H.
And there's our party for the neighborhood mutts to show-off the new punch toilet bowl.
May your blood pressure pop your hair plugs.
That Bob Walker of that Kansas writes:
Why is Fess Parker's name funny? HA HA.
May Moms Mabley gum your breakfast nook.
That me of there writes:
May Joe the Plumber snake your juice box.
A Bob Walker finds time in his busy Kansas day to write:
May Snooky Lanson splatter walnuts in your pie hole.
May Betty White only appear to you as Betty Eggshell White, or, I'm feeling generous, Betty Mauve.
