How to Be in the Movies Theatre

We visited a theatre north of Atlanta. It was our first trek to the venue, so I pre-purchased  tickets online to be assured admittance. There were special instructions.

Step 1: Print this page containing your Print at Home Ticket and bring it to the theater.

Pssst... Donna printed our tickets at her office, not at home. We may have committed some kind of motion picture piracy. I'm in seclusion, hiding from the movie police. I'm also not silencing my cell phone or noting the exits.

Step 2: Skip the box office! Go directly to the ticket podium to have your Print at Home Ticket scanned.

We were happy to do so. It beat standing in line behind "Scream 4"-fumed gangly twits.

We entered the lobby in procession to the podium. Indeed, that podium, famous and revered from the above literature quotation.

"Tickets, please," said the podium potentate, engaging conversation.

"We have Print at Home Tickets," I said loudly, so all within the mile would be alerted. "We're royalty. We know people with ponies."

"Very good, sir."

"Ever hear of Buckingham Palace?" I queried.


"If we had a carport, it would look like that."

"Auditorium 9."

"Without the big ears, fang teeth, and cravats," I added to avoid confusions.


"Aren't you going to tell us to enjoy the show?"

The official handed over our valuable documents, adding, "The mandate is expressed specifically on your newly raggedy torn-in-half Print at Home Ticket remnants."

"You didn't say, "My lord."

"Good lord!"

"That's better and exactly."

Step 3: Enjoy the Show!

I am so glad they reminded us to do this! I am certain, however, it should not be a hard rule in order to attend that we enjoy the show. In fact, I do believe these exhibitor revolutionaries are overstepping their Constitutional boundaries. We were seeing "Atlas Shrugged" and we would loathe the show if we personally responsible individuals so chose, you controlling, government-loving flicker lackeys.

So there.

And we enjoyed the show.

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