Saving Facebook: My Confessions: On My Birthday:
Friend Frank Thompson
Mikey, you should try something different and original for this birthday. I suggest cake.
Mike
Okay. This is highly irregular, but I will try it. Can you, like, make a party out of cake? Or, maybe, dessert?
Frank
A party? That would be a little weird for a birthday, wouldn't it? I mean, I said to try something original but I didn't mean for you to go out of your mind.
Mike
Thank you for your concern and advice. I appreciate you being at The Help Desk on a Saturday. I've also cancelled and dasn't go near the ice cream.
On Scouting:
Mike
I'm so excited "To Kill a Mockingbird" is coming to my TV in 1080p. It's a dream come true: Hi-def ham suit!
Friend Claire
I've always wanted a ham suit since I first saw TKAM. I tried spam once but it melted in the sun.
Mike
I never knew what to do with the mustard and cloves. They collected in my ham socks.
Claire
Sounds like walking on coals, that mustard is hot! I wrapped tin foil around my feet to avoid that problem, oh no, wait, that was around my head to avoid aliens. I get so confused.
Mike
Does Frank still go as Tater Tots?
Claire
Not since I bit a hunk out of his side! Now he goes as macaroni and cheese but he leaves little orange puddles everywhere and we don't get invited out as much as we used to.
Friend Frank
Oh, don't try to blame this on me. You're the one who alienates people, you with your Boo Radley overalls.
On Purchasing 125 Lbs. of Kitty Litter:
Friend Yowp
125 pounds? What are you feeding your cat - Ex-lax?
Mike
Fancy Feen-A-Mint.
