Saving Facebook: My Confessions: Just Thinking:
Mike
I'm only asking you to try this on for a few days. Give it a few days: Michael Bombshell Durrett.
Friend Ray
How 'bout Michael "Dr. Bombay" Durrett?
Mike
Well, Ray, my friend, that ... would be ... dishonest.
I assume you are referring to Dr. Bombay from "Bewitched." I need to avoid becoming connected to that fine program due to awkward marital issues at home. Long, never publicly-addressed accusations of an extended affair of Agnes Moorehead amour have cornered me and the generous bequoth of her secret cannister warehouse of unspritzed Screen Gems hair lacquers. I shall only acknowledge I was a conscientious pool boy to Miss Endora and always returned the rake to the shed.
Friend Ray
I believe you were more likely "Uncle Arthur's" pool boy, knowing your rep!
Mike
That scamp. He forced me into the arms of Alice Ghostley.
Friend Frank
I once thought I spent an amorous weekend with Alice Ghostley but it turned out to be Paul Lynde in drag. Hey, who could tell the difference?
On the 90 Degrees Weather:
Friend Claire
Did you cook any eggs on the porch?
Mike
That would be silly. Cook eggs on the roof. Muffins on the porch.
Friend Claire
I stand corrected! Where do you do the bacon?
Mike
Bacon on the sidewalk, near the curb for the drippings run-off. I don't eat meat, so I oatmeal in the gutter.
On Current Events:
Mike
News Item: "Man accused of drunken horse riding."
Issued a DUP. Driving Under the Palimino.
Friend Claire
What was the horse drinking?
Mike
Cloptails.
