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My Recent Confessions and Observations on Twitter, Where Everything Must Be Said in 140 Characters or Less

April 1st was the 32nd anniversary of my first date with Donna. Most of the people who said our marriage wouldn't last are dead.

Theatres curtailing engagements of HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON, tired of lifting the auditoriums after each show to spread fresh newspapers.

I'm presently not spring cleaning 1973. Spring cleaning 2010 is penciled in for my 4th life down the road. Don't hold your breath, 4 ahead.

Gee, I missed Earth Hour. This was my night to blow-up the nukes in Iran. I wore my sunglasses, though.

Max Bialystock signed his health care reform bill.

I may have had an epiphany. Out of nowhere, I heard the words, "Courteney Cox in a new COUGAR TOWN."

Surprised. Watched my first episode of MODERN FAMILY. Why didn't anyone tell me Julie Bowen is in it? ... Why, you Julie Bowen hoarders...

I follow Oscar Levant's lead. Question: "What do you do for exercise?" Answer: "I stumble, and then I fall into a coma."

A gourmet Sunday brunch at our house. We ate French Toast. Morty had the French Deli-Cat and sleepover niece pup Clara had the Eggs Beneful.

90 degrees on my porch, the day after Easter. That means only one thing. Time to mothball the Santa hat....

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