My Recent Confessions and Observations on Twitter, Where Everything Must Be Said in 140 Characters or Less
I saw my shadow, which means six more months of cursing the %$#@! treadmill.
At the stroke of midnight, let's all whisper and stretch our words and say, "Viewer discretion is advised."
Who needs the Super Bowl? I can acquire my own uses for Fritos.
I'm having sympathy pains for my friends up north in the snow blizzard. I bought out all of the toilet paper for miles.
One thing comes to mind, reading over the Oscar nominations. I should change my name to Mi’Nique.
@mshowalter sez: "I'm really glad that I wasn't one of the people in the Donner Party. That would have sucked." ...No, sir, that would bite.
I'm reading where authority Linus Van Pelt refers to The Tooth Fairy as "she." My entire world view has been rocked! My life has been a lie!
@RasmussenPoll reports: "71% say fed govt is special interest group." 101% of me says that!
Oh, great. ... Another ice storm. ... Here I am at the igloo, eating blubber. ... Vegan blubber. ... Tofu in the shape of Kirstie Alley....
I've been pro-women, equal pay, equal rights, but can I get a guy's Hoodie-Footie Snuggle Suit? No, I cannot. Hypocrites...
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