My Recent Confessions and Observations on Twitter, Where Everything Must Be Said in 140 Characters or Less
Overheard shopping: "I've never seen the Laffy Taffy here. I can only find it at Walmart." ... Those bastards.
Had a lovely dinner for one at the Waffle House. I feasted on a scrambled egg sandwich, hash browns, and an earful of double negatives. Yum!
Kidding? No, I nain't, nuh uh.
@AnimalPlanet recommends microchipping to save animal lives. We microchipped a cat. I was hoping he'd glow in the dark or something.
We had to take down the fish tank. Our cat prefers HBO.
Live and learn. In my daily travels, I'll no longer engage strangers by saying, "Hi there, MrTweet recommends me."
@foundingfather sez: "The time is near at hand which must determine whether Americans are to be free men or slaves." I be gittin' fresh hay!
Wondering if @foundingfather is the real George Washington or fake George Washington.
News Item: "Dog owner sifts through pup's poop after he eats wad of cash." Yeah, that's me trying to figure Obama.
A highlight of each week is watching a NEWHART rerun with lunch. (I'm learning to cook from Larry and the Darryls.)
World's First Flying Car: http://is.gd/o7yb - Not Jetsony enough for me, his boy, Elroy, daughter, Judy, Jane, his wife.
Welcome and thanks, Followers. Rest assured, I have all my Tums and keep an egg up my sleeve in case of Barnyard Lotto..
News Headline: "Police seize 42-piece dinner set constructed entirely from cocaine." Eat, you vegetables.
Nudes Item: "Rhode Island strip club to host job fair." Two drink minimum. You must fill out your form. Laid detector test.
News Item: "Kan. man accused of having 2 wives in same complex." ... Duplexicity.
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