Mike Durrett: CONFIDENTIAL

Mikellaneous

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My Recent Confessions and Observations on Twitter, Where Everything Must Be Said in 140 Characters or Less

Just bagged my first spider of the season. I have a very small trophy room.

@simgames sez "I live in the boonies of Maine. Our war is with the black flies." Surrender! Flies not such a problem here. They're cat toys.

@frannycats sez "Our Billy's nickname is 'Renfrow' because he loves to eat flies." And Billy is, I'm guessing <crossing fingers>, your cat?

They're sending in reinforcements. I just killed the second spider of the season.

News Item: "Octomom Nadya Suleman lays bare her past as stripper." I dunno. "Take it all off. Take 'em all out" doesn't do it for me.

Drat. I've missed Pull Up Your Pants Day. I can pencil in April 15th after I manage to unbendy.

News Item: "Booted from some Walgreens: Bye to the 'Chia Obama.'" True. I heard Chia O looked too Marxist. Uhhh, Harpo.

I see tomorrow is National Walking Day. Sorry, no can do. I'm still way too busy turning off my lights from Earth Hour.

Easter reminds us the only thing better about me after three days is my chili.

Thinking I'll skip the egg hunt at Octomom's...

In the aftermath of food poisoning, I'm taking a lot of naps. I may be having a relapse. I woke up, calling out for "Auntie Em! Auntie Em!"

Gee, why didn't someone tell me yesterday was National Wear Your Pajamas to Work Day? I could've upgraded & found me a job.

News Item: "Bob Dylan's toilet smell blows in the wind." Febreze, lady, Febreze.

More on "Bob Dylan's toilet smell blows in the wind." I can't help but think this has something to do with his mumbling.

@rainnwilson sez "My new nickname for my penis is 'Corey Flinthoff.' (NPR radio anchor)" .. Gee, well um, Gomer says "Hey!"

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