I hate morning "Eek!" and under-the-bed dives -- especially since my bed is too close to the floor.
To get under it, I had to streak outdoors, corner the house, tuck and roll downhill, and belly-flop into the crawlspace.
Everything happened so quickly, I forgot my pillow, necessitating I streak back outdoors, tuck and roll uphill, uncorner the house, wipe my feet, reenter the humble abode, upheave the bedroom, grab Mademoiselle Pillow, streak outdoors, corner the house, tuck and roll downhill, belly-flop into the crawlspace, and hide my head under Mlle.Oo la la!
Then, I remembered we have rattlesnakes in our crawlspace.
I also hate when smart-ass nature goes literal.
