It Sucks to Be Mikey

Continued From: "Big Weekend" and "Meanwhile..." 

Due to government boneheadedness™, this photo op cost The Happy Durretts $700. Bathe yourself in it.

I snapped this memento moments before the septic tank exorcist hooked up the big hose to his suck truck. I had barricaded myself inside the house to escape the forthcoming fragrant ambiance.

It didn't work.

To my shock and "Eww," I discovered the smell was more tolerable outside than indoors, so I strolled over to the scene of the slime and looked in.

I guess it's my broadcasting training, but I couldn't help myself with the play-by-play action.

"Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Spousal Unit. Mine. Mine. Mine. Bug Man. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. In-law to Be Named Later. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Cat vomit. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Unintelligible. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Birthday Boy. Mine. Mine. Mystery meat. Mine. Mine. Mine. Was Lindsay Lohan here? Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. It's squeezably soft; it's irresistible. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Toothless Goon Poltergeist. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine...."

Indeed, I am a proud man.

Oh. And, kids, let this be a lesson to you. You never know where your bendy straw has been.