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My Recent Confessions and Observations on Twitter:

My television emitted a Kajagoogoo reference. I got up off of my couch and slapped the set. It's better now.

I see @kirklands is on Twitter. Suddenly, it smells like wicker and cinnamon in here. Ick. I'll wait out in the car....

My connecting with these kids today clicks. We hunky-dory. More Goober peas for me peaps!

Drat. I missed some event in ATL called Day of the Cupcake. I would've liked to attend. I was at Day of Crumbs on the Bottom of the Oreo Bag.

Oops. I missed commemorating my 3500th tweet. My impeccable life has been blemished. Damn you, Twitter! Aaarrgh, a misstep. I need a skink..

I've been asked to participate in ATLANTA BALLET'S NUTCRACKER. Okay, but no starch in the tutu.

Watched RAISING HOPE. Not one, not two, but THREE spit-takes in a single episode! ... Bliss.

News: Porn Bunkers for the Apocalypse. In my small town, selection limited to the landfill with a blow-up possum in knee breeches and snood.

Picking out the perfect ascot and ear trumpet for my first day as a hip-hop mogul...

I saw an ad for Shaggy's Doggy Daycare. I'm the type of guy who would go get a puppy just so I could say "Shaggy's Doggy Daycare."

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