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My Recent Confessions and Observations on Twitter:

When I'm not busy being a trophy husband, I'm usually exhaling, trying to catch some oxygen. Whoo! I'm cramping, as the room spins....

Days are growing shorter. Personally, I like a day that accessorizes my height.

I've concluded my first-ever pineapple topping pizza. You have got to be kidding. OK, but it's no p'nut butter & mayonnaise sandwich. Slurp.

Watched: Agatha Christie's POIROT. The famous detective actually said, "It was a dark and stormy night." He reads Snoopy.

My tastes have changed over a lifetime. I'm more of a sophisticate & epicurean. Deep introspection, smoking a mentholated bubblegum cheroot.

Watched CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF (1958). Everybody "Big Daddy, this. Big Daddy, that." I'd be grateful to have people call me "Medium Daddy."

I'm reluctant to grasp CBS won't be making any more episodes of THE KEEFE BRASSELLE SHOW.

Saw my silhouette in a mirror. I'm looking more and more like Fred Flintstone. Embarrassing. Going to grab my ball and Barn and go bowling..

I was expecting something more expansive.... CAPTAIN AMERICA 3-D: DAYTON, DES MOINES, DETROIT.

No one spells correctly anymore. I ordered two tickets to Funkytown. They came in the mail. We're going to FungiCare.

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