My Recent Confessions and Observations on Twitter:
Thumbelina, Thumbelina, tiny little thing, Thumbelina dance, Thumbelina sing.... Can you tell my wife's away? Sign me: Lonely in Sleepytown.
Looking for work. My expertise? ... Checking Pinky Winters for glove chafe -- and meltage.
I wanna see CARS 2 in a drive-in. It's only proper, but I need to decide to see it with GREEN LANTERN or PIRATES 4. Ugh. Revoke my license.
I abandoned my home for an all-nite CPAP Titration. I'd tell you what that means, but I'd no longer be the cool kids' king.
That time of the year again and the age old question: What'll it be? Watermelon or Buttermilkmelon? Slurpeecantaloupe? Listerinehoneydew?
July 3rd, the day the Founding Fathers cussed & cussed & cussed, argued & argued & argued, & went & played golf. The Heck with deadlines.
4th of July and the stores are out of Smart Dogs. No holiday hot dogs for Mikey. This is a travesty! And THIS is a pizza. Mmmmh, ggglllll...
I heart Independence Day. This vat o' tater salad may clog it....
I told my wife the last of the pound cake is hers. I am loving & fair. ... Um, I just ate it. I am a man without honor, but WITH POUND CAKE!
Eye Surgery Follow-Up: Doc lasered my "After Cataract." The After Party was lacking. No girls. No onion dip. But we did one-two cha cha cha.
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