Top 10 Signs the Movie You're Watching Will Not Win an Oscar

10. "Our Feature Presentation" title has big finger pointing at the exit.

9. Five dollar surcharge for No-D glasses.

8. Air traffic controllers shut down projector beam.

7. Hair balls under six admitted free.

6. Don Cheadle passes by your seat, offers lift home, now, man!

5. Two thumbs up your nose trying to pull yourself out of the auditorium.

4. Turned down by Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Starring Rosie "The Rock" O'Donnell.

3. Avatars are blue, but look and sound like Clumsy Smurf, Tuffy Smurf, Dreamy Smurf, Smurfette, and Gasping Tom Bosley.

2. Unmarked vans halt beneath screen, smuggle viewers to Cinema 12.

And the Top One Sign the Movie You're Watching Will Not Win an Oscar:

Fellow audience Muppets remove their eyes, put them into the box with the ping-pong paddles.

Thanks, topic suggested by Bob Middleton.

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