Mike Durrett: CONFIDENTIAL

A Freeloader Among Us


I'm coming to grips with the fact that at 7½ years of age, Morty is probably not going to go out and get a job.

I spent most of the afternoon trying to teach him to wag his tail back and forth in a tick-tock pendulum fashion. If he'd only cooperate, I'd be very happy. He'd get some exercise. We'd save money on all of the Kit Kat Clocks. He'd contribute to the household, and we'd know what time it is, maybe, or, at least, we could time an egg.

I think this is a fine idea, however I'm not sure I like his options for the current temperature and rainfall gauge.
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