Mikellaneous

My Recent Confessions and Observations on Twitter, Where Everything Must Be Said in 140 Characters or Less

Headline: "Man charged with drunk driving in wheelchair." He was also cited for hit and roll -- and failure to pass his emissions test.

I went to my high school reunion. Everyone was wildly happy to see me. They owed me noogies. ... Mousse, please.

Someone's sending me weird email from GIRLS AND CORPSES magazine. Hey, if I were into that, I'd go to the Playboy Mansion.

I have no interest in seeing Heath Ledger as The Joker. I lived through Tammy Faye Bakker.

Lost footage found in Argentina. For the first time in 80 years, classic METROPOLIS is complete. Now, cross your fingers for MAKE MINE MINK.

My wife is a bit of a social climber. I am no longer allowed Fruit of the Loom. No, I have to wear what Harry and David wear.

Torrential weather. Usually the roof leaks in drips. Today, a stream! If it would only leak Dairy Queen soft serve, we wouldn't be so upset.

My wife made me get up off of the couch and go to the Farmers Market. They threw me onto a potato truck.