Mike Durrett: CONFIDENTIAL

Sniffing Around the Jesus Air Freshener

This product has me puzzled ("Gifts Senior Moment Santa Forgot to Bring Me: Jesus Air Freshener").

I have trouble believing Jesus would license His name as a truck fragrance spokesLord.

C'mon, surely He could get on with Halo Shampoo -- or Chock Full O' Nuts, the heavenly coffee.

And, besides, all of the A-listers only do voice-overs.

This brand, Funky Fresh, is that an oxymoron?

"American Heritage Dictionary" defines "funky" as:

"Having a moldy or musty smell: funky cheese; funky cellars."


To be honest, I have qualms with a funky Son of God. I put no faith in such irrationality. I pray He used Dial. Don't you wish every savior did?

Now that I've pondered some more, Jesus would be Ivory fresh. The soap's nearly as pure as Him and He floats, too.
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