Mike Durrett: CONFIDENTIAL

I'm Old, Dammit!

My birthday celebration was action packed. I blush to mention my fortune. I'll hold the glitzy details down to a sentence.

I spent the day outside an abandoned Wal-Mart practice greeting.
Don't hate me because I'm old. You'll have your chance, too. Put on a yellow smiley face and pretend!

I've reached an age where I have to alter my ways of living. For example, I've replaced the Golden Rule ("Do unto others what you would have them do unto you") with "Blow a nose, break a hip."

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