Mike Durrett: CONFIDENTIAL

Hosers

While strolling to a theatre on yesterday's sunny afternoon, my wife blurted a candid admission. If only I were chewing gum, so I could have swallowed it.

Actual conversation:

Donna: I'm not wearing hose today.

Mike: What?

Donna: I'm trying to be more hip, like the girls at the office. They don't wear hose anymore.

Mike: No hose?

Donna:
Nothing on their legs.

Mike: I stopped doing that years ago. ... The stores never had my color. Midnight Hunk.

Mike Durrett: CONFIDENTIAL

The Best Dog Ever

This boy loves to fetch. In his youth, he'd chase and return twist ties, pipe cleaners, and cotton swabs all day long. He is a master athlete.

When middle age set in, we advanced to plastic drinking straws. He prefers the bendy kind because they make the most exciting noise when they're repositioned into the fascinating '7' shape.

We don't fetch much now, but the house rule stands, plastic straws are stocked by the hundreds so a fresh one can be introduced into his domain often. He likes that. He forgoes his naps several times around the clock to prowl throughout our habitat, stalking this prey.

A roar of victory will soon be heard in the distance, several rooms across the house. And here he comes, with his most recent find clenched in his teeth. He halts at my side to show off the *kill* -- and, to express our appreciation for his fine hunting expertise and unparalleled value to our pack, he gets a frisky head tickle and the cherished full-throated chin scratch.

For all of his blue-eyed manliness, he doesn't much care for vehicular travel or medical strangers. He prefers to go out and about incognito, as seen in this recent photograph on his way to an appointment at the clinic.

Ironically, this is as he looks on Halloween, costumed as D'Artagnian of The Three Mouseketeers.

We've never known the exact date of his birth, but he did arrive in April, for certain, and into our lives a few short weeks later.

So, today, we say "Happy Birthday" to our nutty Professor Kelp, a few short 19 years later.

Mike Durrett: CONFIDENTIAL

Show People

Since I see a lot of touring Broadway plays, I've developed a little ritual over the years to celebrate my very favorite productions. I buy the souvenir shirts.

I've acquired quite a few, including "Les Miserables," "Show Boat," and "Miss Saigon," and scarcely a week goes by that I don't have "Damn Yankees" or "The Producers" proudly emblazoned across my chest.

Last night, we attended an event worthy of such accolades. The performances were of the highest order. I was moved and, after the standing ovation at the curtain call, I made a beeline straight for the merchandise in the theatre lobby.

"What's your hurry?" asked Donna.

"I want to get to the counter before they sell out," I said.

"What? A t-shirt? That 'show your passion' thing again, Mike?"

"Yeah."

"I... don't... think... so..."

LITTLE WOMEN t-shirt

Mike Durrett: CONFIDENTIAL

Walk. Walk. Walk. Walk. Walk.

As I mentioned, our pals, Bill and Kathy, are in Spain. This morning, they were to be driven many, many miles, far out into the country to be deposited alongside a primitive trail with only their backpacks and each other in the strange land. Over the next 12-14 days, they will walk back to Santiago de Compostela, where today began.

Sheesh. It's not like they haven't seen it already.

Here's what they're up to, described by Backpack45:

Camino de Santiago or Camino Frances is an ancient pilgrimage trail, in use for over 1000 years. There is a belief that St. James the disciple's bones were found in northern Spain, and are interred in the cathedral in Santiago de Compostela, Spain. People would travel there to get forgiveness for their sins. The tradition goes on today ... The Spanish part of the trail is about 450 miles.

I got winded copying-and-pasting that.

The pilgrims today do it for various motives - religious, spiritual, other personal reasons.

I think Bill and Kathy are doing it to be in my blog.

Worked.

I wish them luck along their path and pray they encounter no spaghetti western banditos.

Now, I must soak my legs. I'm experiencing sympathy shin splints.

Mike Durrett: CONFIDENTIAL

Smile and Say "Queso"

My friends, Bill and Kathy, are always insisting I take their picture. They won't accept "No" for an answer either.

So, early this morning, I got a telephone call. It's Bill and Kathy. They're in Spain!

They wondered where I was. Why wasn't I in Spain with my camera?

Can you believe some people? They know I don't fly. They know Saturday is my morning to watch cartoons.

"Where in Spain are you?" I asked, pausing my Fudd.

"We're at the cathedral in Santiago de Compostela," said Kathy.

"Go stand out front," I instructed.

Being a child of the Internet, I punched up a Webcam and grabbed their screenshot.


Bill's the one blinking.

"Got it," I said, as I slapped the cellphone shut and resumed the cartoon, the one where Bugs gives Elmer Rabbititus.

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