Actual Messages I Wrote, Forgot, Then Found While Cleaning Out My Correspondence Folders
Glad you all had a good time and returned safe. I can't see anything at your house because of the leaves, which I think are thicker than ever this year. I did hear the weed-whacker (I'm guessing) several times. I was concerned at first, but then it didn't make much sense that vandals would sneak in and do yard work.
I hope this gross injury has corrected itself. You may need a Smurf Band-Aid.
All you need now are bangs and a two-part beard.
Did you hear that?
Bob Zany just got to move up one.
Uh, oops. My bad. I misread your email. I meant no harm. I'll be over to wax your creek rocks at dawn.
He has split.
I think that's from the Bible.