My Recent Confessions and Observations on Twitter, Where Everything Must Be Said in 140 Characters or Less
It was nine degrees here last night. I haven't seen anything that low since Mini Me's sex tape.
It is truly cold. For the first time ever, I'm wearing three pairs of socks, all of them on my left foot. My right's an endurance artist.
News Headline: "Gettin' Ready for Sundance with Brittany Snow" -- Oh, great, who's gonna play Butch? Lindsay Lohan?
My brother sent me details on a Home Colonoscopy Kit. (We're very much like The Waltons.) It has "UBS connection!" Shouldn't that be "IBS?"
Super Bowl? Ho hum. I've never seen a one. This year, me & the cat will be watching water go down the sink. It's quite thrilling, actually..
News Item: Italy "Mafia boss flees into sewer." He got an offer of refuse he couldn't refuse.
New TVs to get Web, 3-D. Pal Stan sez: "I think I'll hold off until they produce one with an electrical engineer enclosed to run it for me."
Jackie "Noriyuki" Chan to be in THE KARATE KID remake. It's been decades since I've been able to shun a KARATE KID flick. Happy times ahead!
@levendis sez: "Everything I know about zombies I learned from Michael Jackson's Thriller." Oh, me, too, and Walmart shoppers.
Some guy on the radio keeps asking if I'm urinating more. He's got me flustered. I don't know whether to see a doctor or be the 12th caller.
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