May Hulk Hogan do-rag your cantaloupe.
May Michael Phelps swim laps in your Olympic-sized navel.
May record high humidity warp your cardboard cut-out of The Dallas Cheerleaders into Brussels sprouts in a nice boots sauce.
May Lindsay Lohan pucker your carpet tiles mosaic of Ugly Betty.
May your email spam expand to include email asparagus and potatoes.
May your bow tie sag into the shape of a generally unsightly spastic colon tie.
May Victoria's Secret be You on her shun list.
May a near-sighted, off-key troubadour strum your varicose veins.
May Doc Severinsen spit valve your juice box.
May Popeye's forearms develop a slow leak "s-s-s-sss" and everyone thinks it's you.
