Hosers

While strolling to a theatre on yesterday's sunny afternoon, my wife blurted a candid admission. If only I were chewing gum, so I could have swallowed it.

Actual conversation:

Donna: I'm not wearing hose today.

Mike: What?

Donna: I'm trying to be more hip, like the girls at the office. They don't wear hose anymore.

Mike: No hose?

Donna: Nothing on their legs.

Mike: I stopped doing that years ago. ... The stores never had my color. Midnight Hunk.

• File: fashion, mikedurrett, confidential, humor, humour, marriage, life