Mike Durrett: CONFIDENTIAL

O Come All Ye Godiva Chocolatiers

Christmas was two weeks ago today. It'll soon be time to take down the tree.

We're in no hurry. Besides, I haven't finished carving the 2003 jack-o-lantern. And once I put my Mayflower Pilgrim's hat in mothballs until next November, there will be plenty of time for packing the Christmas decorations. (I look stunning in this topper, by the way.)

All in due process. There's Halloween candy left, too. We may have over purchased the bite-size Butterfingers and Milky Ways, considering we did not have one child knock on our door October 31. We've never had a costumed visitor at this house, actually. We buy the candy to be prepared in case some tykes waddle through the critter-infested woods to our abode.

Meanwhile, I don't like waste, so I'm eating the candy as a frugal, moral, and spiritual imperative. Ever health conscious, I alternate each pound bag of caramels with a Skim Milk Dud.

I do it ... for the children.

Add in the huge amount of chocolate goodies bulging our fireplace stockings and surrounding the nativity, I've been busy. It's a full-time job to eat the candy canes, Zagnuts, Paydays, Gummi Bears, Goobers, truffles, homemade fudge, sugar cookies, fruitcake, and Pez overflowing my In box.

Necco, the original candy waferThe Necco Wafers Santa brought Donna remain untouched. They don't seem to be a priority item. I braved munching a Zero bar before them.

Never fear, the Neccos will not be trashed. Tuesday is Cards Night. It's my job to bring the Poker chips.

Progress is being made with our candy surplus. My scales tell me I gained a whopping 14 pounds during the past month.

Yipe.

Recently, in connection with this Web site, I've been using the phrase "Mike Durrett at Large." Now you know why.

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