On the Holidays
Hope Santa is good to you. Love the Christmas lights. Thanks for the Christmas spirit you exude.
I exude Christmas spirit? You mean the rash that looks like holly berries?
On Serious Sleeping
Flannel sheets are the greatest invention ever! I wasted half my life without them. Everyone kept a secret from Mikey. ... *snif*
On Cold Weather
Friend Bill Up North
Feet in the microwave to thaw out? Not recommended.
I like to feet in the soup pot so everyone else can enjoy it, too!
On Halloween Preparations
Bought the trick-or-treat candy today & finished it off within the hour. I am slowing in my old age. Back to the store tomorrow. Mmmm...
There is a lesson somewhere in that. You either bought too early or...not enough.
The lesson, dear Bob, is I do it for the children.
Friend Frank Thompson
Well, I'm on Atkins so we're not buying Halloween candy. I'll be giving the kids giblets.
On Invasive Airport Security Searches
In the interest of fairness, since I don't fly, for the next 10 minutes only: Touch my junk!
Closed. No takers. You're no fun. My junk is junk....
Charlie doesn't let me touch nobody's junk....sorry.
I guess it's just a silly marital rule he has......
I guess. Sheesh...