Big Weekend

Friday
Me and the missus and the cummerbund attended the theater, "A Tuna Christmas."

Favorite quote: "I've seen better hair on anchovies."

Afterward, looked in window at Fantastic Swams.

Saturday
Survived wife-inflicted Outlet Mall. My only outlet necessitated an hour-long slog through Kirkland's. I manned sniveling babied up, faced debilitating boredom, puzzlingly pleased female mindset, and inhaled oppressive candle-scented oxygen to the point of phantasms.

Let out, mauled.

Sunday
Watched the first episode of National Geographic's "Great Migrations." So violent and disturbing, I great migrated myself off the couch and returned the DVDs to the store unwatched.