Mike Durrett: CONFIDENTIAL

Mikellaneous

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My Recent Confessions and Observations on Twitter:

Watching: MR. MAGOO'S CHRISTMAS CAROL CHANNING.

People look at you like you're crazy if you wear a Pilgrim hat. I have no idea why. I cut the proper amount of leg holes in it....

Watching: WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS ELSEWHERE.

Item: "Passengers Rage at New Naked Scanners, Patdowns." Hey, get over it. I can't be too safe in my piggyback rides business.

Watching: DECK THE HALL & OATES.

Reimagining Rodney Dangerfield: "If it weren't for the TSA, I'd have no sex life at all."

Watching: DANCE OF THE SUGAR PLUM BIEBERS.

Going to the county dump for a festive Christmas dumpster toss! Fa la la la la... Pray there is no mistletoe...

Watching: PRANCER'S "DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL" POINSETTIA PARTY.

Drat. I missed being named PEOPLE's "Sexiest Man Alive." But I am MISCREANT WEEKLY's "Schlub With a Pulse." So, there, I haven't lost it....

Watching: SANTA'S LAPLAND.

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