Make Your Own Jokes

Screenshot: Buy Gay-Friendly Autos ad.I was caught off guard when advertisements appeared on these pages screaming "Buy Gay-Friendly Autos."

What?! Cars can be gay?

Hummersexuals or homobiles or something?

One blurb asked:

"Does your ride reflect your Pride? Is your car out of the closet?"

Not only has my car never been in and/or out of a closet, but it also hasn't been in a parking garage or a carwash for eight years.



Ram Tough.

Typo. Damn Tough! Damn Tough!

I plan to fight any Turtle Wax with shampoo and conditioner for extra silkiness.

Furthermore, if gasoline doesn't have a testosterone additive, we ain't pumping.

So, when did this vehicular phenomenon come about?

I've had gay friends and acquaintances over the years and I've heard quite a few lifestyle revelations, yet not one word concerning queer eye for the straight shift.

Well, okay, fine. I don't know about alternative wheels, but I do know comedy gold when I see it.

And the premise "Buy Gay-Friendly Autos" is definitely comedy gold, ready to be mined.

Nevertheless, I'm not going there. Nope, not me.

Sure, I have several dozen fall down funny, gaspingly hilarious, laughingly hysterical, standing ovation-inducing ad-libs loaded and begging to be told. It's just that sometimes jokes aren't worth the grief they may bring and I choose to avoid this slippery slope.

I'm biting my tongue.

That seemed wiser than backing on tippy-toes.
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