I was caught off guard when advertisements appeared on these pages screaming "Buy Gay-Friendly Autos."What?! Cars can be gay?
Hummersexuals or homobiles or something?
One blurb asked:
"Does your ride reflect your Pride? Is your car out of the closet?"
Not only has my car never been in and/or out of a closet, but it also hasn't been in a parking garage or a carwash for eight years.
Manly.
Rugged.
Ram Tough.
Typo. Damn Tough! Damn Tough!
I plan to fight any Turtle Wax with shampoo and conditioner for extra silkiness.
Furthermore, if gasoline doesn't have a testosterone additive, we ain't pumping.
So, when did this vehicular phenomenon come about?
I've had gay friends and acquaintances over the years and I've heard quite a few lifestyle revelations, yet not one word concerning queer eye for the straight shift.
Well, okay, fine. I don't know about alternative wheels, but I do know comedy gold when I see it.
And the premise "Buy Gay-Friendly Autos" is definitely comedy gold, ready to be mined.
Nevertheless, I'm not going there. Nope, not me.
Sure, I have several dozen fall down funny, gaspingly hilarious, laughingly hysterical, standing ovation-inducing ad-libs loaded and begging to be told. It's just that sometimes jokes aren't worth the grief they may bring and I choose to avoid this slippery slope.
I'm biting my tongue.
That seemed wiser than backing on tippy-toes.
