Eight Below, One Blown Away

I went to a theatre to see "Eight Below." Inspired by true events, it's the gripping saga of a pack of domestic sled dogs left behind to fend for themselves in an oppressive, bitter Antarctica.

I've always agonized over motion pictures concerning animals, such as "Old Yeller," "The Yearling," "Born Free," "Bambi," and "Brokeback Flipper."

But never have I undergone the emotional distress I experienced watching "Eight Below" -- not in a pets film and quite possibly not in any other movie. That's saying a lot because I do cry regularly in the darkness, but usually that's over the fleecing for the Raisinets.

Here's the actual conversation I had with my wife, as we were the last to exit "Eight Below."

Mike: I made a mistake.

Donna: What?

Mike: I should have never watched this movie with an audience. I thought I was going to explode.

Donna: Really?

Mike: Literally, it was all I could do to keep from wailing. Not just once, but there were at least three times I was torn up.

Donna: I know. I know.

Mike: Look at me, I'm wet and gooey. My shirt's wet!

I detoured into the restroom for some quality time with tissues.

Five minutes later, I returned to the lobby, composed, less damp, and only slightly mildewy.

Donna: Feel better?

Mike: Yeah. I lost a pound of snot.

• File: movies, mikedurrett, confidential, humor, humour, animals, life, overheard