Mike: Do I have to keep making these mall visits, Santy? The lines! And what's the deal with all of these kids? I thought we were old friends. Why can't you cellphone me? Either I'm getting bigger or your lap is getting smaller.
Santa Claus: Ho! Ho!--
Mike: Ho? You know what I hope? I hope that's your keys. Is this beard real? Listen, let's cut to the chase: I want jellies. Those little gift assortments are fine. Bring me a tin of jams.
A can of yams! Does he even listen? He brought me a giant can of yams! Took up my entire stocking. I bet he did that to save the trip to the Dollar Store. Get some exercise, Tubby.
I guess I should be thankful, but I couldn't help but notice my yams are imprinted with some other fella's name on 'em. These are Bruce's.
*sigh*
Hand Me Down Yams.
If Santa had brought me my nose harp, I'd record that for RCA Victor.
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