Huh? What th'--? Who Am I? Marty McFly?

Have Gut — Will Travel or Go West, Young Mike or Darth Vader, My Ass
Chapter 2

IF IT'S TOMBSTONE, THIS MUST BE BEFUDDLING -- Here I am at the Tombstone Saloon. Somehow we took a wrong turn and went back in time 122 years. It all happened so fast, I missed Elvis on "The Steve Allen Show" again.

I knew we shouldn't have exceeded the speed limit, but when one drives 992 miles in a day, as we did, fracturing the time barrier apparently becomes reality.

All I recall is everything blurred into "Are we there, yet, and prithee a potty."

I can only be thankful I had the foresight to take that speedpeeing class.

It was an extension course.

It would have to be.

I qualified for a scholarship.

I didn't think I had it in me.

I was teacher's pet.

I would have to be.

I graduated with papers.

But that was then, in the distant future. Here I am in 1881 and a species-profiled tumbleweed is stalking me.

Next: Chapter 3 | Rewind to Chapter 1

Did You Know?
Mr. Durrett, a lifelong participant in urination and a self-described "buff," has recently revealed his secret identity and ongoing humanitarian efforts of lapland benevolence in a true confession, "Big Day for a Little Squirt."

Photo copyright ©2003-2004 Mike Durrett. All rights reserved.