I Got Nuthin'

Consolation Video: "Bunnies in Paper Cups" via YouTube

I Got Nuthin'

Consolation Video: "Jane Austen's Fight Club" via YouTube

Mikellaneous

My Recent Confessions and Observations on Twitter: 

I played Hard-Boiled Egg Roulette in my refrigerator today and won! I picked the correct egg. Cracked the shells on Donna's pudding, though.

Steve Martin has joined Twitter. I guess he got, oh oh, Happy Tweet!!! You can use that, Steve. http://twitter.com/STEVEMARTINTOGO

Reading 1970 PEANUTS. The battery has gone out on Snoopy's electric socks. ... *sigh* ... Why wasn't I told of this wondrous invention?

I can tell it has turned cooler. I moved back into my slippers.... I figure by the weekend I'll have to give up the fireflies jar & snorkel.

At #2507, I failed to acknowledge my 2500th tweet. Help yourself to the leftover cake and Beano.

L.A. hits all-time high: 117 degrees. Still not sterile.

Congratulations, Geraldo, celebrating 40 years of moustache nits!

"Sharktopus" is trending on Twitter. Could be a teaching moment. When Sharktopi swallow blood, do they hold out their dainty pinky tentacle?

Actual conversation: My wife informed me the cats are MY children, not hers. I said, "You've had my DNA checked, haven't you?"

Headline: "Man hides stolen earrings in butt." He could face 20 years in prison and "Aw, just keep 'em."

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Big Weekend

Big weekend, shopping for sweaters. 

I was hoping for something more periwinkle or argyle.

Remembering Stoney Curtis

On Sept. 29, actor Tony Curtis died. The following day was the 50th anniversary of the premiere of "The Flintstones." Curtis, as it so happens, is fondly recalled for having voiced his caveman incarnation in a 1965 episode, "The Return of Stoney Curtis."


"The Flintstones: The Return of Stoney Curtis" Excerpts (1965) via YouTube
I'm Mike Durrett, your slave boy.

I've always wanted to say that.

Back to Bedrock

Fifty years ago this morning, I opened my eyes to a great new old world -- a place called Bedrock. The previous evening, "The Flintstones" debuted on prime time network television and I was there.


"The Flintstones" Show Opening (1960) via YouTube

Image via Wikipedia

The strange, comical, prehistoric universe of Fred and Wilma and Dino Flintstone, plus their nifty neighbors, Barney and Betty Rubble, was too delicious for this 8-year-old Neanderthal to resist. My friends, too. "The Flintstones" became the first communal obsession of our youth, followed, three months later, by Walt Disney's "One Hundred and One Dalmatians" and, three years down the path, Beatlemania.

What had been intended as TV's first animated sitcom for adults — note the product placement for Winston cigarettes — was hijacked by children. We loved the show and were soon teaching ourselves to doodle the characters' pictures during school. I can draw Fred at the click of a pen or the hammer of a chisel.


"The Flintstones" Winston Cigarettes Commercial and Winston End Credits via YouTube
It wasn't long before producers Bill Hanna and Joe Barbera revamped the concept to pander to kids with the introduction of tot Pebbles (followed quickly by Bamm-Bamm). Great move, boys. The moment that happened — February 2, 10,000 B.C. (We were on tape delay) — the show was altered and ruined forever.

The TV rule of "adding brats to beloved formats doesn't work" was proven once again, or so I told "Lucy" loser Little Ricky.

The chums and I were out of there, moving on to something else, maybe Arithmetic, but probably "The Jetsons."

My first-run "Flintstones" experience was entirely in black-and-white, which was the broadcast norm in 1960. On this page, I've featured the original opening sequence from seasons one and two of the series, plus the end credits for Winston. My memory is the cigarette company was an alternating sponsor, so not prominent each week; therefore, here's a somewhat reworked *generic* closing taken from the color elements.


"The Flintstones" End Sequence (1960) via YouTube
I prefer the early "Flintstones" title sequences. I owned the vinyl record of the superior, jazzy theme, "Rise and Shine," and played the tune incessantly in my bedroom. There were additional musical selections, including the toe-tapping "Split Level Cave."

But, after 48 years of repetitive TV exposure, the updated "Meet the Flintstones" title footage is better known. I like it well enough. With its drive-in theatre imagery, how could I not?


"The Flintstones" Updated Opening via YouTube


"The Flintstones" Updated Closing via YouTube
Eventually, the animation was expanded to include Pebbles and the Rubbles, joining Wilma, Fred, Dino, and the cat on their night out at the movies:


"The Flintstones" Opening With Pebbles and the Rubbles (1964) via YouTube
The closing with the children and Barney and Betty can be seen in this foreign adaptation, although the music track is different than in the U.S. version:


"The Flintstones" Closing With Pebbles and the Rubbles (1964) via YouTube
Now, I must go take a shower. Cue the elephant...

Remembering Tony Curtis

Image via Wikipedia 

One of the quintessential movie stars of my childhood has passed. In addition to being an enjoyable personality, Tony Curtis represented that manly, brilliant handsomeness I sought, but was never able to achieve in design. Few among us could and, anyhow, we probably wouldn't have been able to match his legendary sexual prowess. I'd need salves, lip splints, personal trainers, Wet Naps, Bufferin — I know that.

Tony Curtis was born to play comedy and shared attributes with his hero, Cary Grant, who he so nicely mimicked in the golden farce "Some Like It Hot" (1959) and appeared alongside in the popular pink submarine adventure "Operation Petticoat" (1959).


Tony Curtis, Marilyn Monroe, Jack Lemmon, Joe E. Brown in "Some Like It Hot" via YouTube
Although the studio system and the business dealt Curtis more than his fair quota of dud projects, he always appeared to give them his best. He was a fine dramatic actor, too, when allowed the chance, "Sweet Smell of Success" (1957) being the first choice of these.

My favorite Tony Curtis moment is a single second of face time. It is his introduction in the mammoth road comedy, "The Great Race" (1965), seen in the clip below after the opening title sequence. He's presented, looking straight into the camera, fully in bloom with that bright, dazzling smile. So much so, a flashing twinkle of white light emanates from his teeth. While this bit is obviously animation-enhanced (and has been much copied), it aptly illustrates his screen power, humor, and willingness to laugh at himself.


"The Great Race" Main Title and Tony Curtis via YouTube
Add up all of the screenings and I find I've spent full days of my life in the dark with Tony Curtis, maybe more, and I will continue to revisit the good memories he's left behind to glisten again.

Now, who wants pie?*


Tony Curtis, Jack Lemmon, Natalie Wood in "The Great Race:" via YouTube

---

_{*With apologies to Dennis Miller}

What the Heck Was I Thinking?

Actual Messages I Wrote, Forgot, Then Found While Cleaning Out My Correspondence Folders 

09/10/10 

She was surprised to see you, too. I hear there's lip balm coming. 

06/19/09 

Nice foot.

08/31/10

Heartwarming. Please tell me you didn't send it.

07/09/10

Okay, I've been quiet. I've been patient. I've been waiting for something to be said.

Nothing.

So, don't get mad, but I can stand it no longer. WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THE POTATO CHIPS?!!

07/06/10

I open next week with my partner, George Burns. My fan dance will kill!!

06/16/10

Love to you and all the mites,

Mike

03/11/10

It would be my pleasure. My penis works weekends as balloon animals.