Ace Ventura: When Slinky Falls

Jim Carrey in "Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls" (1995) clip via YouTube 

Big Weekend

Big weekend, blasting "The Sound of Music" and that darn Gretl. 

The revival of Rodgers and Hammerstein's soaring musical concluded its Atlanta performances, part of a big stage tour, last evening. I was not in the cast. My lederhosen wept.

Anyway, that's what I'm telling the dry cleaner.

As you may know, a sincere, lifelong dream of mine has been to play the demanding role of Gretl, the teeniest of Von Trapps. I've fully confessed the quest, the craft, the whining like a little girl.

See: "The Sound of Mikey" | "Meanwhile..."

I was never extended so much as a phone call inviting me to audition. Thus, you know what that meant. No "Thank you, Mr. Durrett, nice gams."

I'm not getting any younger here, producers. You are forcing me into Plan B. I've written a sequel, "The Sound of Hip-Hop," wherein Gretl (Mike Durrett) and the kin kiddies (Some Fresh-Faced Brats) flee Austria to revolutionize Motown with popping, locking, and B-boying. Feel da funk. Word. Edelweiss.

Then, stardom in my claws, I'll mount "The Sound of Kabuki" with me as most honorable G. and kimonoed kiddie kin (Some Other Fresh-Faced Brats).

In the short term, however, I get livid when I think of this year's fruitless toil, the expense, the tappity-tappity-tappity-tappity-tappity-tappity-tap taps.

Even the elementary Botox® injections were for naught. At least, I have three months of pre-schooler pouty lips left to carry me through the indignation and appearances on GretaWire.

And now, seriously, before my blood pressure rises any higher, I need to go phone the pediatrician....

100 Things About Me #180

Spring Has Sprung

 I've been pondering the toys of childhood. One of the greats is the Slinky. 

The Slinky was a must-have item for me. I had to have a Slinky or I could not go on. It was as simple as that — and so be it.

I was presented my first Slinky, all silvery and metallic, on Christmas morn of Mikey's fourth or fifth year on the 1950s planet. It was a grand occasion and I immediately raced from our living room, up the ominous staircase to the second floor, and encouraged the virginal Slinky to "walk" down the steps, all the way to the bottom.

Image via Wikipedia

Success! What a sight to behold! Bravo, Slinky!

I descended, grabbed the Slinky and toddled back up to do it all over again.

Whee!

Then, I was done. As wonderful a toy as it is, Slinky is good for only about 90 seconds of enjoyment. I don't recall playing with the lovely gift ever again.

On a nostalgic whim, I purchased a colorful, plastic Slinky in 1992. I sent it down our steps once and crossed the springy coil over to the opposite hand and reversed the motion three or four times. I put the marvel into its carton and that was that.

I still own Slinky. Somewhere. Probably in a big mystery box in a closet.

I saw the toy in 1999, when we moved to our current home. I did not play with my Slinky. The 90 seconds of seven years prior continued to satiate me.

One moment.



Okay. I've huddled with myself. Sorry, Slink.

In a related memory from the titanic tot era, I fell down those early wooden steps in a nasty tumble.

Bump! Bump! Bump!

I instructed the survivors to dub me "Mlinky."


100 Things: #1 | Previous | Next

Joy Story 3

During "Toy Story 3" at the Fox, I found myself caught up in the sentimentality and nostalgia of the film for the playthings of our youth. It got me reminiscing about my favorite childhood toys. I can name the triumvirate, which provided hours upon hours of fun. I've written of Kenner's Give-A-Show Projector, so that leaves Pepsi and pickles.


"Pepsi Commercial 1960s" via YouTube


"Heinz Pickles Commercial 1960s" via YouTube

'Toy Stories 3'

All of these movie projection systems -- which to see? 

There are Disney Digital 3-D, Disney Digital 2-D, 35mm 2-D, and 70mm dual-strip IMAX 3-D. I didn't like any of them, so I made up my own. 

Not "Toy Story 3-D," but "Toy Story 3 2-D Déjà View": 

Swan Drive-in Theatre, Blue Ridge, Ga., June 2010


Fox Theatre, Atlanta, Ga., August 2010

I Got Nuthin'

Consolation Video: "Dancing Panda '70s Remix" via YouTube 

Mikellaneous

My Recent Confessions and Observations on Twitter, Where Everything Must Be Said in 140 Characters or Less 

Sheesh. This is why I don't drink. Usually. One little indiscretion and now I gotta marry the Hoveround Collapsible Grabber.

Monday. A strong sense of foreshadowing hovers over my week. My car is in the shop and our bananas are speckled.

@screencrave sez: "Clint Eastwood’s Hereafter to Close New York Film Fest" ... I didn't even know he was sick.

There's a big Revival underway down the road. They're trying to bring the church school fruit punch back to flavor.

Gov. Blagojevich is coming over. We're having a Moe-Off.

Just reflecting, I have been out of radio for three decades. Not once, not once have I missed Sugarloaf.

Why is it, as I age, my eyebrows get bigger? They're huge. They oscillate. They make a high, shrill noise. They're a '50s sci-fi movie....

Today's Quote: "You'll be glad you did." -- David Oreck

I've penciled in Errol Flynn films for Saturday. I like to see movies made before my birth and I changed the world.

"Apply to be a beta tester & get the first look at upcoming Facebook products." That means I'll be first to read who's "going to bed now."

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A Confederacy of Coincidences — And That Brings Us Back to Mo

Two weeks ago, it was my nice  fortune to be a projectionist on duty when we presented a rare showing of "The General" (1926) in the Atlanta Fox Theatre, accompanied with a live musical score performed on our powerful Moller pipe organ. Buster Keaton's classic Civil War comedy is based on the actual 1862 incident when Union soldiers and sympathizers stole a Confederate train, setting off a dangerous locomotive chase through Georgia.

I learned of "The General" booking in late spring, about the time my wife and I renewed our season tickets to Theatre in the Square, a small, professional venue producing plays in nearby Marietta, Ga. TITS, as we like to call it (Donna said it first! Donna said it first!), announced their line-up of shows, but I paid minimal notice. I get so much more out of theatregoing by not immersing myself in details of the productions in advance.

Sunday, 12 evenings after "The General," I found myself in our second row seats at Theatre in the Square, watching the world premiere of "Stealing Dixie," a gripping drama —

(One moment. Let me copy and paste this...)
— based on an actual 1862 incident when Union soldiers and sympathizers stole a Confederate train, setting off a dangerous locomotive chase through Georgia.

"Stealing Dixie" promo, Marietta.

I was bewildered. This largely unknown historical event provided the frameworks for two entertainments I was essentially summoned to attend less than a fortnight apart.

The coincidences continue.

Theatre in the Square is located one storefront away from the Marietta railroad tracks. Standing at the entrance, one can glimpse the former Kennesaw House, maybe 200 feet yonder. It was inside that building, depicted explicitly in "Stealing Dixie," where the Union men holed up the night before their crime. The boarding of The General, I assume, occurred mere yards away, too.

Western & Atlantic Railroad No. 3, The General on display in Kennesaw, Ga.

Until yesterday, the above material was enough of a weird story for me to ponder. Then, out of the blue, things took another turn.

Accomplished theatre organist and silent film enthusiast Dennis James uncovered my previous article on "The General" at The Fabulous Fox. He sent a note of kind remarks and shared his memories.

I had projected "The Phantom of the Opera" (1925) for one of Dennis' special Fox appearances, around 25 years ago. He was at the keys of the "Mighty Mo" organ, supporting the motion picture.

Dennis wrote:

I well remember our sellout screenings of Lon Chaney's PHANTOM OF THE OPERA over the years, and the TCM presented Erich von Stroheim THE MERRY WIDOW that we also recorded for the cable channel periodic broadcasts. What a house, what an organ!

I was pleased to hear from him and startled I had somehow missed his connection to "The Merry Widow." I had no idea he had provided the soundtrack, recorded at the very same Fox console. How did I miss this development? Turner Classic Movies, after all, is my second home. I practically live inside the channel.

I dropped what I was doing and immediately moused my way over to TCM.com. I would have TCM send me an Email Alert in advance of their next presentation of "The Merry Widow." They occasionally broadcast silent films. This one would be back around within a year or two.

*Gulp*

What is going on here? "The Merry Widow," I read, was scheduled to be aired:

Tue, Aug 24, 2010 8:30 AM EDT

That was THIS morning, only 14 hours later.

Screen credits from "The Merry Widow" (1925), as seen on TV

I recorded the movie. Does the story end here?

I don't know because I seem to be back at the Fox. I'm going to enjoy running "The Merry Widow" on my television, but with one begrudging caveat. I should be paid to listen to the Fox organ, you know. I have always been paid to listen to the Fox organ, working there and all. It's what I do.

Play it again, Dennis....

---

Train photo courtesy Harvey Henkelmann.