My Recent Confessions and Observations on Twitter:
Large Marge sent me.
My doctor has FORBIDDEN me from high impact activities "like jogging on pavement or jumping out of airplanes." Darn the luck!
I fear the Whitman's Sampler people are rummaging my clothes hamper. I'll let you know if they abscond with my toffee chip & molasses chew.
My wife informs me I cannot change my name to Pépé le Moko. "Ciao, charmed, we're Donna & Pépé le Moko Durrett." *sigh* ... class warfare...
Pretend it's 2010. I found this unused bit in my notes: "My dentist canceled all appointments. Tarballs in the spit sink."
My pal is about to watch FROM HERE TO ETERNITY (1953) for the first time. It's the gem in the canon of films with a guy named Fatso in it.
Item: "Waffle House Offers Reward for Bandits." But only if they're Scattered, Smothered, Covered, Chunked, Topped & Diced.
Item: "Australian researchers say 1 hour of TV takes 22 minutes off your life." So, they averaged in the suicides during THE NANNY?
My doctor says I'm too sedentary; I need to exercise. So, now, every time I type a colon, I do it with a curl and holler, "COWABUNGA!"
My haircut appointment has been confirmed. I'll bring everyone clippings for your lockets.
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