What the Heck Was I Thinking?

Actual Messages I Wrote, Forgot, Then Found While Cleaning Out My Correspondence Folders 

07/26/09 

Great! But I won't be dancing in your wedding. I'll be in the lobby selling T-shirts and watered-down Cokes.

03/04/11

Thanks. Can I come sleep under the pastry rack?

08/01/09

If you're going to be me, you'll have to stop eating meat immediately and go to a Walmart thrice per week to become suitably annoyed.

Thank you.

04/18/11

Thanks for the info. The maintenance appears to be clerical, not technical. I'll be out hopping with bunnies anyway.

08/03/09

Can he get me Ann B. Davis' autograph? Maybe her oatmeal cookie recipe?

08/21/09

No. I am a grown man. I wept and crawled into a ball under the table.