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My Recent Confessions and Observations on Twitter, Where Everything Must Be Said in 140 Characters or Less

It may be over with my secret love, The Talking Pothole. She says, "Don't tread on me." ... Okay. Bye.
@WH2H_Radio props me over my lost luv, The Talking Pothole: "The talking pepperoni seem much friendlier." I'm vegan, so The Talking Tofurky.
"LOL" is so zoot suit or "hepcat." Squaresville, Daddy-O, Squaresville.
Watching TV's COMMUNITY. Loved this: "This is no school paper. This is a real damn paper. There's a 'Marmaduke' in here."
Finished showing the "World's Tallest Cat" [photo] to my kitty. Morty's walking around on his tippypads.
News Report: "IVF mother adds twins to two sets of quads." ... Yeah, everybody is downsizing.
Two personally amazing facts: THE TWILIGHT ZONE is 50. My marriage is 28. However, no Rod Serling in our bedroom. Yet.
My cat Morty and I are reading, pointing, and giggling at WHY DOGS DON'T LIKE HALLOWEEN: http://bit.ly/3ZYpXt
News Flash: "Women 'can enlarge breasts through mind power,' claims hypnotist." ...Ho hum. Men've been doing that forever, ladies.
Like Giovanni, I don't play the piano. I feel the piano. Although in my case, it's dark and I can't find my gum....

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