Rebus Mikey

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Santa Noses Best

After a lengthy search and devour mission, Morty infiltrates the gift bag where Santa Cat hid his Christmas stocking.


Mmmm, a catnip cocktail wiener dog!


What's this? Santa Cat visited big brother, too?


Professor (and semi-retired house detective) Kelp sniffs out a cheesy rodent!


Kelp compares the DNA (Delightful Nostril Activity) on the two new visitors.


The seemingly miffed Kelp, who had requested catnip guppies, mumbles something about himself being more of a connoisseur of fine fish.

Morty mews in French.

Deal of the Centuries

"Christopher Columbus wants to know if three ships beat a Flush."

"Moot point, sir. Nothing stops the T. rex going for a Belly Buster."

Queasy Is the Word

Show Throat Is Coming

I will be sharing an evening in the theatre with my head cold, as The Glamorous Durretts are compelled to present long-reserved play tickets to see "Twelve Angry Men."

I apologize in advance if I infect Atlanta and the production turns into "Twelve Croupy Snots."

I'm familiar with the storyline, having seen the 1957 film version. I'll know I'm still bad sick if the play also appears to be in black-and-white.

My ears remain so stuffy, I probably won't be able to hear, but I have a plan. Since it's a courtroom drama, from time to time I'll yell: "Will the Clerk please read that back?"

Hard Cold Facts

I'm 12 days into this debilitating cold I've been squiring through life and the night sweats, do-si-do.

Heads star right
All star left, full turn
Heads star right
Left allemande
Swing, twirl, square your set.

Left allemande, box the gnat
Ladies star left, box the gnat
Men star left, box the gnat
Slide through.

I may need to adjust the NyQuil.

It's puzzling to me where I picked up such a savage strain of congestive misery, although there is some sneezedar data aimed at the moppets attending the Christmas feasts, achooing the food.

You know, if that Santa Claus character can tell when they've been good or bad, why can't he alert us when the tykes are radioactive?

Not having fathered children, I can see where I've been much healthier without them, but, then again, there's no freebie flunky around to unclump the cat box.

I do have a trio of cold and flu prevention tips, wisdom several of us neighbors have swapped over the years while sharing the community toothbrush.

1. Wash hands frequently to stop the spread of germs -- besides, somebody might as well use those restroom sinks for something.

2. Wear two or more pairs of socks, but cease at seven. I really tired of people giving me gout poultices.

3. Keep to yourself.

Working at home since 1998 and not being around others, I've had far fewer illnesses and fevers. And the office romance is better.


^{Shhh! Here I am. Don't say anything. Maybe I won't see me. Shh!}


It pays to be a recluse. And, of course, there's that not wearing pants perk.

The public, she so misunderstands me.

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Square dance help: Dosado.com.

Coldfinger

It's wise I went to the doctor for my annual physical and prostate exam. My severe sore throat had spread much deeper than I suspected.

I have strep butt.

Happy New Throb

My sore throat has mostly ceased, even at night, and I'm sleeping better. Major cold and flu symptoms linger.

I felt like I had turned the corner several days ago, but that was only me stumbling a left into a plate rack.

The rejuvenation is slow going and my sweat fits are mildewing the wallpapers.

The cats are wearing surgical masks and their little mouse with a bell in it refuses to tinkle in my bathroom.

I've always said you can tell you are sick when your hair hurts.

I hear agonized moos when I brush my cowlick.

My annual physical is tomorrow, so maybe the doc will fix my cold or board me up with two-by-fours.