Off the Wall

Saving Facebook: My Confessions: 

On Technology

Friend Deborah
This new smartphone is not making me feel so smart.

Mike
I'm still trying to work this stupid hula hoop....

On Time

Writing with Hitchcock
Certain Hitchcock films lend themselves well to "seasonal viewing"...like THE WRONG MAN on a cold January night, THE TROUBLE WITH HARRY on a mild afternoon in late September, or REAR WINDOW on a steamy evening in July. Do you make a ritual out of re-viewing certain Hitch films at certain times of the year?

Mike
Yes, I watch PSYCHO each year on Shower Night.

At the Help Desk

Friend Claire
Need a dog sitter around Encino, any hints?

Mike
Pauly Shore.

Claire
Thanks, Mike. Any good dentists?

Mike
Bill Pullman.

On Friendship

Friend Alan
All of you should be encouraged to know that I thrive on the QUALITY of my friends.

Mike
I'm burlap and taffy, but the workmanship is adequate.

Alan
Great! I realize the warranty has expired.

On a Pal's Colonoscopy

Mike
Bob, did they find your gum?

Friend Bob Walker
No but they did find a shot glass.....and a little tiny bartender.

Mike
I'm afraid to type this next one. ... That explains the bar stools.