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My Recent Confessions and Observations on Twitter, Where Everything Must Be Said in 140 Characters or Less

Tap. Tap. Tap. Is this on? I stepped out for 17 days to drive a rental car 5013 miles. Mission accomplished. Now, I must wipe the prints....

Whoops! Just realized I didn't eat lunch. I love make-up sammich....

Any meal is a great meal when it evokes the word "slathered."

Taliban announces "a new spring offensive." Seersucker armour-piercing roadside bombs and off-the-shoulder-launched surface-to-air missiles.

TOY STORY 3 in IMAX 3-D costs $17.50 per ticket. For that kind of money, I'm staying home with my Slinky.

I hope my wife lives forever. Whatever would my Cougar Town be like? Ee-yeeesh! I'm going to go hide under the bed to be safe...

Donald Fauntleroy Duck is 76 today. State or set forth precisely or systematically, Donald, state or set forth precisely or systematically.

THE GOONIES was released 25 yrs. ago today. I was there with pal Frank Thompson, who said, "The screenwriter must've been paid by the "Wow!"

Inexplicably, appallingly, I feel the hot, stinky clutches of MARMADUKE pulling me to the drive-in. Hep me. Hep me, please.

Successfully resisted MARMADUKE at the drive-in tonight. Instead, staying home to watch BRIGHTY OF THE GRAND CANYON (1966). I be happ'nin'!

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